Rescue Me
by eloquences
Summary: When you think all is lost, do you choose life or death? Eli's made his decision, but will a girl who just happens to be at the right place at the wrong time show him that not all is lost? Who would have expected something so twisted?
1. Crash

Rescue Me Chapter One

**READ: Yes, yes, I know I shouldn't be starting another story, but I am having troubles with my other ones. I have huge writers block for them and it's getting frustrating that I can't write because of it. But I did have this idea and I figured I should post it and see what you guys thought. The updates for this story won't be very fast, since I'm still working on my other stories. Sorry this is so short, but it's just the first chapter. I hope you enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Summary<strong>: When you think all is lost as you travel down the broken road, do you choose life or death? Eli's made his decision, but will a girl who just happens to be at the right place at the wrong time show him that not all is lost?

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><p><em><strong>Clare's POV<strong>_

"Alli!" I whined into the phone as I made my way home from work, "Shut up, already! I don't want to hear about you and your amazing sex life. I'd appreciate it if you didn't rub it in my face." I teased. I knew she wasn't actually trying to rub it in that her boyfriend, Jake, is a sex God; I just liked messing with her. I know that she hasn't had many very successful relationships in her past and I know she is just happy that she found a man who treats her with respect. And though it gets annoying at times to hear her rant on about how amazing he is, I still love her to death.

"_Oh, I'm sorry, Clare-Bear. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable… wait… you seem to be a bit uncomfortable even when the _topic_ of sex is brought up." _She said, and I knew we were about to talk about my sex life._ "When was the last time you got laid?"_

"Alli!" I gasped, wishing I could slap her right now. I don't mind the topic of sex, but the words she uses sometimes gets to me. I don't think sex should be referred to as _getting laid_ or _fucking_; sex is something that you are supposed to share with someone you truly care about and it should be referred to as _making_ _love_. "Do we really need to have this conversation right now?"

"_Yes, we do. And by the way, avoiding my question only tells me that it's been a while since you last got it in."_ I rolled my eyes at her statement. _"You really need to step up your game girl!"_

I scoffed, "Yeah, I'll get right on that." I teased. "Alli, you know I don't have time for that. I have work and school is getting hectic. I'm lucky if I have enough time to eat or sleep, let alone have sex with someone who I don't have time to meet."

I heard her sigh loudly, making sure I got the message that she was getting frustrated with me. _"Okay, okay, but I am taking you out soon. You are going to forget about work and school for one night so I can teach you how to live life!"_

"Hey!" I protested, "I live life just fine, thank you very much."

"_Yeah, okay,"_ she said and I could tell she just rolled her eyes. _"I'm serious, Clare. You have to get out and try and meet a guy before it gets too late. It's not like he'll fall from the sky."_

As the last word left her mouth, I couldn't help but giggle as I looked up into the sky. I knew she was right about that.

But as I went to return my gaze back to the street so I could cross the road, something caught my eye. A figure… though it was hard to tell if it was a man or a woman since it was getting dark. But what shocked me the most and had me clutching the phone to my ear was the fact that they were standing on the roof to a tall building… no, on the _ledge_ of the roof. It didn't have to take a genius to realize that a life was soon to be taken by their own accord. I knew it would probably take the police a while to get here and it would take too long to reach the person if I took the stairs but I knew I couldn't just stand here and watch.

"Alli, I'll see you at home, I have to go." I stammered out.

I didn't wait for her to answer before I hung up and sprinted across the street, praying that a car wouldn't hit me. It looked like luck was on my side as I finally made it to the building's entrance and that's when I noticed it was an old abandoned building. I didn't know how long it had been abandoned, nor did I care. I ran up to the elevators and it didn't take too long for me to figure out that they weren't working. I cursed and looked around, feeling delighted as I saw the stair case. I quickly ran as fast as I could as I ran up the stairs, praying that I wouldn't be too late.

I dialed 911 as I made my way up the third staircase, wishing I was more in shape to make doing this easier. I quickly scrambled to explain what was going on and I thanked the lord when the woman understood what I was saying even with my pants between my words. I listened intently, my feet never losing movement, as she told me to do whatever I could to not let the person jump. I knew it was a hard task and if I failed I would feel like shit and never forgive myself, but I knew I had to try my best.

I had finally made it to the last stair case as I hung up with the woman, putting the phone back in my pocket. I pushed open the roof doors and stepped out, nearly having a panic attack when I didn't see anyone up here. I dropped my bag to the ground as my chest heaved up and down rapidly, trying to get my breathing even again. My mouth was dry and I swallowed.

I turned my head and suddenly felt a wave of relief when I saw the person still standing on the ledge, looking down at the ground below. As I crept closer I could see that it was a man in about his early twenties. I walked closer and stood about ten feet behind him. He was wearing all black, making it even harder to see him as night crept in. His dark hair danced in the wind and I could see his body shaking.

I went to step forward and cringed when I had kicked a rock, hearing it roll across the pavement. The man had flinched, but he didn't turn around. I wondered if maybe I was wrong, that maybe he was just admiring the city. Maybe he just enjoyed the sounds of the cars from below as they sped by, or the way the city looked when night took over. I thought about what I would say to the police once they get here and realize that no one had planned on killing themselves tonight. But all those thoughts vanished when he spoke.

"If you think you'll change my mind, you're wrong."

His voice was hoarse as he spoke and by the way he gulped afterward told me that he was on the verge of tears. I slowly stepped forward and when he took a small step forward, I stopped, knowing he was only doing it because I had moved. I silently thanked God for the wide ledge, giving him a few steps before he would fall off.

"Okay," I said slowly. "Just know this won't solve anything."

He scoffed, "What do you know?"

I knew that I had to choose my words carefully, and I was sweating with the thought that if I say the wrong thing, than he could jump and all of this would be over. He would die and I would feel like a waste of space. So, I tried my hardest to stay strong as I spoke.

"I know that life isn't fair," I started, feeling a bit at ease as he turned his head slightly, signalling he was listening to what I had to say. "I know that things don't always go the way they should, or that bad things happen to good people. Now, the one thing I don't know is why you're up here, but I know that if you step down from that ledge… we could talk."

"You're a stranger… why would I tell you anything?" He asked as he turned his head back so he was facing the city.

"Sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger than to someone you know." I told him, slowly creeping forward. I was glad that he hadn't noticed the few steps I had taken.

It was silent for a few minutes and I knew he was thinking. I was hoping that I had gotten to him and that any minute now he would step away from the ledge and I would be able to tell him that I was here if he needed to talk.

"You don't know me." He said softly.

I had finally gotten to at least two feet away from the ledge, and as I spoke, I kept walking. "True… hence the talk about me being a stranger." I looked up and I couldn't help but feel my heart melt when I noticed his lips curl up into a small smirk… though it quickly fell. I was getting to him. "But I'd like to _get_ to know you."

He laughed with no humor, and I knew I had said the wrong thing. "The only reason you want to get to know me is because I'm up here trying to _kill_ myself. If I wasn't up here right now and we had met on other circumstances, you wouldn't give me the time of day and you know it. You wouldn't even send a second glance in my direction."

As he spoke his head had turned towards me without his knowledge and I got a good look at him, and it hit me… he was wrong. If I had met him on other circumstances I would probably try everything in my power to get to know this man. Behind his tired eyes that were underlined with dark circles and the messy hair and the sad expression, he was a decent looking man. I knew that it was wrong to think this at this moment, but I was very attracted to this man, and I knew that if I didn't get him down from this roof than there was no way I would have a chance to get to know him.

"You don't know that." I told him softly. "You don't know me, so why are you acting as if you do. You make it seem like I'm this heartless bitch who wouldn't give a shit if a handsome man like yourself came waltzing into a room," and I took note of the way he raised his eyebrows at my comment. "Tell me something… if I'm that low that I wouldn't give you the time of day… than what am I doing up here?"

I watched as he took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he let it out. His eyes stayed closed as he stood there, and I became a bit worried. What if he just jumped right in front of me? What if what I had said made his decision more clear? What if he thought I was just some girl who pitied him and was only trying to be the hero? But when I looked closely, I realized that he had tears streaming down his face. I had gotten to him; it was only a matter of time before he stepped down from that ledge. He was still shaking, and I figured I'd calm down his nerves.

"What's your name?"

He took a deep breath and finally opened his eyes, though he didn't look at me. "Eli Goldsworthy."

I smiled softly, "Well, Eli, I would like to make a proposal." He turned his head and for the first time tonight, he looked me in the eyes. "Come get some coffee with me, my treat, and if you still feel the need to do… _this_ by the end of the night… be my guest."

I held out my hand to him and he stared at it. I watched as he gulped, obviously torn. I knew he needed a bit of a boost, and I wasn't willing to watch him refuse my offer and jump anyways. It was then that I realized the sirens from below. The police must have been here for a while, though my attention was taken up by this young man.

"You can do it." I spoke up and his eyes lifted to meet mine.

"Do what?" he asked, swallowing afterwards. He looked scared, like if he took up my offer he knew that there was no going back to this. It was as if this whole conversation had drained him, as if he was too weak to even jump anymore. I felt like he was still in control in this situation, but he just didn't know it. And I knew that if I wanted him to be alive to see the sun rise tomorrow, I needed to have hope.

"Trust me."

And that was all it took.

His hand found mine and he jumped down from the ledge and onto the roof again as I let out a huge sigh of relief. I fell to the ground, bringing him with me since our hands were still intertwined. I didn't let go of his hand with the fear of him going right back to where we started. I tried to ignore the look of curiosity he was giving me as I placed my other hand over the back of his, creating a cave over his hand with my own as I brought them up to my face, closing my eyes. I didn't notice I had a tear streaming down my face until I felt it hit my parted lips, the salty fluid entering them as I breathed in and out. I tried to wrap my head around what I had just done, but I couldn't.

I had just saved Eli Goldsworthy's life.

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><p><strong>How was it? Did it suck as much as I thought it did? Again, sorry it was so short but this was just the first chapter. <strong>

**Tell me what you think and if I should continue. xoxo**


	2. Hear Me

Recue Me Chapter Two

**Thank you for the reviews! I'm so glad you guys like this story! I honestly thought no one would since it sounds depressing, but trust me, it does get better! :)**

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><p><em><strong>Clare's POV<strong>_

Laughter

Clanking

Tick Tock

The laughter of others filled the café, though it wasn't mine or Eli's.

Clanking of coffee mugs against one another signalled people cheering to good news they had shared with each other, but what good news could possibly be shared on this particular day?

The tick tock from the clock as time slowly passed by made it seem as if this night would last forever, but who would want that?

I guess when you've been sitting at a table with a complete stranger who is probably plotting the next place for his suicide attempt really gets you thinking about your surroundings. Meeting Eli and knowing that he would like to give his whole life up for an unknown reason makes you wonder… what's so bad about life? What's so bad that would make you want to end your own life? I mean, sure, when I was in high school there was plenty of times where I would rather be dead than in a certain situation. I thought that a low grade on a test was one of the worst things that could happen to me. When I had found out my boyfriend had broken up with me because he found someone better I felt as if I wanted to disappear. When my parents divorced I wanted to run away, thinking that nobody would care if I left. But not once did I think that ending my life would solve my problems.

So, one could only wonder why someone would want to throw their life away. I wanted to ask Eli… I wanted to ask him why… why he would try and do such a thing. Was this his first attempt? Did he do this often? But most importantly… what made him come to this conclusion?

It wasn't my right to ask and I sure as hell knew he wouldn't tell me on his own accord, so I did the only thing I could; be there.

"I'm going to get a refill." I spoke up when I realized he wouldn't be the one to start the conversation.

He cast a glance at me, but didn't speak, before returning his gaze to his untouched cup of coffee. I sighed and got up, dragging my empty cup off of the table and bringing it to the counter. I plopped down on the stool and waited for Peter to finish his order. He finally made his way over to me and refilled my cup. I added some sugar and cream before taking a spoon and mixing it, my head resting against my hand as I watched the liquid form a tornado in my cup.

Peter must have noticed the frown on my lips as he then spoke up. "You alright?"

I sighed, "Yeah… I guess," I started, but then my eyebrows pushed together as I realized something. "Actually, no… I'm not alright."

"Want to talk about it?" he asked and he threw the towel that was in his hand over his shoulder before leaning against the counter. His curious look got to me and I sat up more, my hands burying in my lap.

"I just… would you believe me if I told you I saved someone's life tonight?" I whispered to Peter, making his eyebrows shoot up. I cast a glance at Eli and noticed he was still in the same position; glaring at his coffee as if it was filled with a toxin that would kill him if he took a sip.

Peter followed my gaze and tilted his head in curiosity when his eyes landed on Eli. "You mean Mr. depressed over there?"

I shot a glare in Peter's direction and he shrugged. I sighed, "Yes, him…" I began to tell him the events of this night, watching his occasional glances towards Eli. Peter seemed a bit surprised that I had been the one to actually get him down from the roof, but he didn't doubt me for a second. "…but he hasn't spoken a word since."

"Well… maybe he's got a lot going on. I mean, I know that I wouldn't instantly open up to someone I had just met. Maybe he just needs time."

"But time is what I'm afraid of." I began. "If I wait too long to try and get him to help me understand what's going through his head, I might wake up and hear that he was found… dead."

Peter sighed, "I wish I could help you, Clare. But if you got him down from that roof, then maybe there's a possibility that he trusts you more than anyone else."

With that, Peter gave me a weak smile and went to take an order from an old couple. I took a deep breath and made my way back over to Eli, sliding into my seat across from him. I knew Peter was right; maybe Eli does trust me somewhat. I mean, he did let me take him out for coffee… though I think he just thinks I pity him. I just wish he would say something!

"I'm not your charity case."

Finally! Wait, what did he say?

"What?" I asked.

"You don't have to be here, you know. You can get up and leave like I know you want to and we can go our separate ways, as if this never even happened." He spoke, looking me in the eye.

I looked at him like he was crazy. "But it _did_ happen."

"I know… hence the pretend part."

I sighed, "I know I don't have to be here, I –"

"Yeah, yeah, I know." He waved his hand as he interrupted me. "You want to get into my head, right? You want to know all about why I would want to throw my life away and pretend to be interested as if you can relate to how I'm feeling. But in all honesty, you don't give a _shit_. You just want to feel like a hero. You want to be able to tell your friends how you saved a life… but I _guarantee_ that you won't even remember _my name_ five years from now."

I don't know if he noticed that halfway through his speech, he had stood up and raised his voice as he leaned over the table, his face inches from mine. I sat there, staring into his eyes, noticing how dark they were. This man had a lot of things going on, but it was hard to read him; he hide his feelings pretty well, but not well enough. I could tell he was hurting; he tried to keep his wall up to hide his feelings, but I knew it was slowly coming down, and that's why he flipped. He was trying to put his wall back up. I gulped and looked around the café, realizing that almost everyone was staring at us. I took a deep breath and looked back at Eli.

He sighed and sat back in his seat, bringing his hands up to rub his face. He looked frustrated and mad, but I could tell it wasn't towards me. I placed some bills on the counter before I got up with my head held high and stood beside him. I grabbed his hand, earning a curious look from him as I pulled him up from the seat and dragged him outside.

"Where are you going?" he asked as I dragged him down the side walk.

"_We're_ going for a walk." I told him, feeling a bit angered with him.

He thought that my life was perfect? I'll show him just how imperfect my life really is.

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><p>"What are we doing here?"<p>

I ignored him and made my way to the dock, swallowing the lump in my throat when my foot stepped on the first board. I looked out into the dark night, watching the water ruffle from the wind. The moon reflected an image on the water, the image not too clear from the way the water moved. I stepped forward, taking a deep breath and holding it as I walked to the edge before sitting down. I let out the breath I had been holding in and turned my head to look back at Eli, who was eyeing me curiously, before motioning him to sit next to me. He slowly walked up and sat next to me, his hands stuffed in his leather jacket pockets.

"When I was younger, my family and I would come out here for a weekend during the summer. We stayed at that cabin." I pointed across the lake to the abandoned cabin. Eli followed my finger for a moment before he looked at me again. I kept my gaze on the water. "When I was seven… I decided I wanted to go for a swim. It was blazing hot outside and I couldn't wait to get in the water. My mom and dad told me to wait for them, but little rebel me didn't listen. So, I walked out without them noticing and came to this very dock."

I gulped and continued. "My dad was teaching me how to swim at the time, and I knew I shouldn't be going in the deep end without him or my mom, but I figured I had enough practice that I could do it on my own. So, I stood at the edge of the dock and took a deep breath, plugged my nose and jump in the water. And then I realized I couldn't do it on my own." I blinked rapidly, trying to keep my eyes dry. "I got up to the surface, but only for a second. I flung my arms and legs around, trying to remember what my dad had taught me to do but I couldn't. I could feel the water filling up my lungs and I couldn't see… I couldn't breathe." I paused and looked at the moon. "I thought I was going to die."

"Why are you telling me this?" Eli asked after a minute, obviously confused as to where this random story had come from.

"I don't know. I've actually never told anyone that story." I confessed. I blinked back the tears before I turned my head to look at him. "Look, I may not know exactly how you're feeling or why you would want to end your life, but I do know what it's like to feel alone. I know you haven't said it but I know you think I have this perfect life, but you're wrong. Life is never simple or easy, but you can't give up. Because if you give up now, you'll miss the important things in life… you'll miss the things that make life worth living."

I don't know where all of that came from, but by the look on Eli's face, I knew it was the right thing to say. He pressed his lips to a line and turned his head back to the water. We sat there for a few minutes, just staring out into the night and listening to the sound of the water. I then realized that I had to call Alli. I had hung up on her earlier and she's probably pacing the apartment wondering where I am. I guess sharing an apartment with Alli wasn't my smartest idea. I can see it now; I'll walk in the door and she'll attack me with questions about the night, if I was with a guy, how far we got, etcetera, etcetera. I tried to think about what I would tell her. I guess I could lie and say I did meet a guy but he turned out to be a pig, knowing very well that I would not be sharing the truth about tonight with her. I figured this could just be between Eli and I. I mean, if this situation was reversed, I sure as hell wouldn't want him sharing my story with any of his buddies.

I looked at Eli when he spoke, "Thank you." He stood up. "But I should be heading home now."

He began to walk away as I chewed on my bottom lip, and when he reached the shore I called out his name and jumped up before running to him. He looked at me expectantly, like he was waiting for what I had to say and I looked at him shyly.

"Watch the sunrise with me." I demanded and he raised his eyebrows. "Please?" I added. "Just… just so I know you got to see it."

He tilted his head and licked his lips, his eyes squinting in wonder. "Why do you care so much about my life? No one else has."

"Because," I looked down at my feet, "I just do." I looked up at him again, loving the way the moon enhanced his eyes, making them a beautiful bright green. "To be honest, at first I just wanted to get you off of that roof, but now… I don't know, you just… you're different than I thought you'd be. And like I told you before… I want to get to know you."

"Well," he leaned forward, "I'm warning you now, I don't open up for very many people." He moved out of the way and put his arm out towards the sand. "Let's see how much you can get out of me."

I smiled and pushed him, hearing him chuckle softly, before making my way to the shoreline before sitting down far enough away from the water for it not to hit me. Eli sat down beside me and I felt a bit more relaxed, knowing that he was going to see the sun again. And hopefully many more times.

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><p>"You owned a <em>Hearse<em>?"

"Yes, had him since I was in high school."

"Him?" I asked, raising my eyebrow at Eli. I smiled, "Did this Hearse of yours have a name?"

He smirked, "Yes, Morty. Now before you go and say that naming your car is stupid, everybody loved him."

I laughed, "I wasn't going to say that. I named my first car Taylor."

"Like the singer?"

"Why does everybody keep asking that?" I asked, throwing my head back in frustration. "No, Taylor was my cousin… she died when I was fourteen. Leukemia." I frowned as I squinted my eyes, trying to look out into the lake without going blind from the sun. We had successfully made it through the night to watch the sunrise. During this time we had got to talking, asking and answering questions about each other. Somehow we ended up to our first cars.

"I'm sorry." Eli answered softly.

I smiled at him, "Don't be."

It was silent for a while and I wondered what to ask him next. I couldn't ask him personal questions; it was too soon for that, so I thought about asking him about his job, if he had one. Or if he had any pets? No, that's weird.

"My parents and my brother were killed in a car crash." Eli spoke up. I turned to look at him and I realized that he was about to tell me a story. I listened intently and watched as he closed his eyes before speaking. "We were on our way to my grandparents for Thanksgiving. Kevin and I were fooling around in the back like normal teenagers." He chuckled softly as he said, "We were playing Mercy and he got so upset that I beat him. He demanded a rematch and I teased him and said that I would still win." His face became serious again and he continued. "My dad turned around to tell us to be shut up and as he did, my mom suddenly screamed and by the time he had turned back around, all I could see were bright lights and all I could hear was the screeching of tires."

"Stop," I told him, reaching over and taking his hand. "You don't need to finish."

He took a deep breath and turned to look at me with teary eyes. "When I woke up in the hospital, the doctors had told me that we hit a truck… and that I… I was the only survivor."

I held his hand tighter as he brought his other hand up to wipe his eyes, turning his head away from me. "I was so mad… I blamed myself. I still do. That's why I was up on that roof. I figured I might as well end this suffering once and for all." He paused and I almost couldn't hear him whisper, "I deserve to die."

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><p>"This is your real house, right?" I asked as we stood in front of a house. "I mean, you're not just lying to me so then I would leave and you can go…" I didn't even want to finish my sentence.<p>

"You don't trust me?" I asked feigning hurt as he placed his hand on his chest. "That hurts."

I rolled my eyes.

"Fine, you don't believe me? Come on." He dragged me to the front door and knocked. I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrows at him. "I left my keys here since I thought I wouldn't need them anymore."

I frowned. The door flu open and suddenly Eli was jumped by a smaller guy. The guy was in pyjama pants and a baggy t-shirt, making it obvious that he had just woke up.

"Okay Adam, you can get off me now. I'm still alive." Eli said, making my eyebrows rise into my hair line. Had Eli tried to kill himself more than once?

Adam pulled back and then slapped Eli repeatedly. "You asshole! What is wrong with you! Are you fucking insane! After what happened the last time you try again? I swear to God man –"

He stopped talking when he noticed me. He pulled back from Eli and eyed us curiously. Eli scratched the back of his head and avoided eye contact with me, knowing that I would be upset. This was obviously not the first time Eli had tried to commit suicide, and for some reason that angered me, but I was also relieved that he hadn't gone through it before.

"Adam, this is…" Eli began, but then turned to me wide eyed, realizing that he had never asked for my name.

"Clare," I smiled and shook Adam's hand, ignoring the odd look he was giving me.

Adam then turned to Eli and smacked him on the back of the head. "You fucking dick. You don't even know her name!"

"He didn't ask." I spoke up.

"That's even worse!" Adam yelled as he threw his hands in the air.

I then realized what Adam was thinking; he thought Eli and I had spent the night together. Oh my God, I have to fix this!

"Whoa, hold up. We – we didn't do anything, I just…" I trailed off, not knowing if Eli wanted to say it or not.

I looked at him and he sighed. He pushed Adam inside and grabbed my arm, pulling me inside also. He shut the door and I couldn't help but look around.

"She… she stopped me. She saw me on the roof and came up and… I swear this chick is a miracle worker because she got me down. I don't know how, but she did."

I smiled softly to myself as I took in his place. I wondered if they lived together. The couch was seated against the wall and the recliner was in the corner, both of them facing the TV. There was a shit load of movies and video games on the shelves next to the TV stand. They had a glass coffee table and a few coasters lying on it; at least they had a little bit of class.

"Wow… umm… wow." Adam breathed, bringing back into their conversation. He turned his attention to me. "Thank you."

I smiled and waved it off dismissively. "Don't mention it."

"No really, thank you. How can I repay you?" He asked and my eyes widened.

"Whoa, hold the phone. I don't want anything in return. I'm just glad he's okay and still breathing." I said as I looked at Eli. He frowned and turned away from me.

"Well," Adam began, "thank you."

"You said that already." I laughed.

He chuckled and nodded, "Fair enough. Would you like something to drink? I can make coffee. I'm sure staying up with this guy all night wasn't easy." Adam teased and shot a playful look in Eli's direction. I was confused when Eli just turned away and sat in the recliner, curling up in it.

"No, it's fine. It was nice… I enjoyed talking to him." I told Adam, though my gaze was locked on Eli. He glanced at me for a moment and his gaze locked on mine, but he didn't wait too long before breaking our gaze. "Besides, I should be getting back. My roommate is probably ripping her hair out wondering where I am. And I have to get ready for work."

"You stayed up all night with Eli and you're still going to work?"

"Yeah… oh, uh, I work at the bar downtown, so I can easily catch up on my sleep. It's fine." I told Adam and he nodded in understanding.

I looked at Eli and noticed he was just staring at the blank TV screen. I sighed and asked Adam for a pen and paper. He brought me to the kitchen and handed me a pen and paper. I wrote down my name and number and handed it to him.

"If you or…" I nudged my head into the living room where Eli was, "need me then don't hesitate to call."

Adam smiled, "I'll keep that in mind. Thanks."

Adam showed me to the door and I looked to see if Eli would come say goodbye, but he was still in the recliner with his eyes closed. I sighed, but I knew he must be tired. I told Adam to keep an eye on Eli and he said he would, so I trusted him. I really didn't want to hear that Eli had died, and just the thought of it made my stomach churn.

As I made my way back to my car, I heard my name being called. I turned around to see Eli walking up to me. I waited for him to reach me and once he did, I suddenly felt my stomach flutter. In daylight he looked even more stunning. He looked tired and worn out, but he was still very attractive. I couldn't help but smiled at him as he looked into my eyes.

"I never got to say thank you… for listening. I never actually told anybody that story, let alone how I felt. So, thanks." I smiled wider when I noticed how nervous he was.

"Not a problem, Eli. I'm always here. I gave Adam my number if you ever want to talk… or just hang out." I was there for him if he wanted to talk, but I was also there even if he didn't want to talk. I was there for him if he just needed someone to be there in the same room as him. If he needed anything, I would be sure to give it to him. I wouldn't take the chance in having him going back up to that roof.

"Now, you better be alive tomorrow." I joked and poked his chest with my finger, but he slapped it away.

I frowned as I looked up at him. "Stop it, okay? Stop pretending like you care. You've done your job; I'm alive, happy now? Great, now you can go home. Have a nice life." His words stung and I wondered if he knew.

He began to walk away and I felt anger course through my body. How dare he do that? I just saved his life and he does that? Who the fuck does he think he is?

"You know, I get it now." I yelled after him, watching him stop in his tracks. "You just can't stand the fact that someone might actually give a crap about you. Someone might actually care about your wellbeing, and that scares you. You don't want to get close to anybody in fear of hurting them. But guess what, Eli? Every time you go to kill yourself, you're killing Adam. I can see how much he cares about you and the fact that you want to end your life kills him inside. But, you don't give a shit about how it affects him, do you?"

Eli turned to face me and I could tell I had pissed him off. He walked back up to me and said, "You don't fucking know me, so shut the fuck up. Don't you think I know how it will affect Adam? Do you not get that he is the reason I'm still alive right now? Every fucking time I try to kill myself, I see his fucking face and what I would be doing to him if I went through with it. So yeah, I do give a shit about how it affects him."

He was broken and I could tell. His wall was finally down and I took this as my chance. I quickly wrapped my arms around his neck and he broke down, crying into my neck. I held him and soon felt his arms wrap around me. I rubbed the back of his head soothingly, knowing he needed some time to calm down.

"Eli, you may think that people don't care about you, that you have no one, but you're wrong. You have Adam, and he is scared for you. He's scared that he'll wake up one day and you won't be there." I whispered, feeling him calm down slightly in my arms. "But Adam isn't the only one who cares, okay? I care. I'm here for you whether you like it or not. So please, promise me that you'll talk to Adam if you ever need someone to talk to. Or me, I'm always free to talk if you need to. Just please, don't keep to yourself. It's only hurting you."

Eli pulled away and brought his hands up to his face, rubbing it and trying to be subtle as he wiped his tears away. "You're too damn nice." He muttered behind his hands.

"I'll take that as a compliment." I told him.

"See?" he pointed at me and my eyes widened. "You have got to stop that. Be a bitch once in a while, would ya?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "I can start right now if you want."

He chuckled, "No thank you." He smiled at me and before I knew it, I was back in his arms. I hugged him back and smiled, loving the feeling of his body so close to mine. Oh God, what is happening to me? I knew I was attracted to him but am I already starting to feel like this towards him? Alli was right; my taste in men is out of control.

We pulled away and I smiled at him. His lips curled up into that adorable smirk and said, "I'll call you if I need to, okay?"

"Thank you." I smiled. "Good morning, Eli."

He chuckled and glanced at the morning sky before looking back at me. "Good morning, Clare."

I made my way to my car and climbed in. Eli made his way inside and I waited for him to close the door. Once it was shut I dropped my head to the headrest, sighing. I got myself together and started my car before making my way home.

I couldn't wait for his call.

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><p><strong>This was not my best. Sorry! Sorry for any mistakes. <strong>

**Tell me what you think. Xoxo**


	3. Oh, How I Thirst For You

Rescue Me Chapter Three

**Thank you for the reviews! I know this story doesn't seem all that interesting but it will get better! Trust me!**

**Also, I think I'll be changing the summary. But if I do, it will be similar to what it already is. **

**Warning: Use of alcohol.**

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><p><em><strong>Clare's POV<strong>_

"Here you are, sir." I smiled as I handed the man his drink. He winked at me and placed a few bills on the bar and I shot him another smile, placing my hand on the bills and putting them into the back pocket of my jeans. "Have a nice night."

I moved down the bar, getting more drinks for the people who were waiting. I recognized most of them – they tend to come here pretty often. I greeted a few as I handed them their drinks, asking how their night was. I usually get one words answers from the ones I don't see much, but people like Joe – an older guy who comes here when he needs to get his mind straight – always end up telling me a story. I don't mind it; I enjoy listening to others when they vent. Sometimes there are pretty funny stories which probably weren't meant for my ears, but they are too drunk to realize it.

"And how are you tonight, Joe?" I asked, pouring some whisky into his glass. He gave me a smile as he brought the glass up to his lips and took a sip. His face scrunched up a bit, but he sighed afterwards, licking his lips.

"I quit my job." He spoke and my eyebrows shot up. "I got a new job in Vancouver and the wife couldn't be happier."

"And are you happy about this new job of yours?" I asked while pouring a drink for a man standing next to Joe, waiting. I slid it to him and he thanked me with a smile and nod before walking away.

"Yeah. I guess I'm just going to miss it here." Joe answered, looking around the bar. "Especially this bar. Had my first bar fight here." He said while tipping his glass to me and winking before taking a sip.

I laughed, "Ah, yes, I remember that. I was the one who took care of you after. You had blood spilling out of your nose and the only thing you could say was "Get me another shot!"."

He chuckled. He pointed his finger at me, "And you got me one, too."

"Only to shut you up." I teased. We both shared a laugh before he decided it was time to go.

I walked up and down the bar, pouring and serving drinks. A blonde wearing too much eye-shadow walked up to the bar and ordered a _sex on the beach_. As I poured her drink I watched as a group of girls – most likely her friends – walk up to her. They started talking about a guy and one of them pointed over to the crowd on the dance floor, pointing to a tall guy who was dancing with his buddy. I handed the girl her drink and she took a few sips before handing her drink to her friend. She took a few deep breaths before she flicked her hair and started making her way over to the guy.

I've seen this happen plenty of times before. The girl gets her flirt on and tries to get a guy to like her, only for him to put her down. I knew this was going to end in the same way, so I quickly reached out and grabbed the girls arm, pulling her back. She looked at me, confused as to why I did that.

"You want him to notice you?" I asked, nudging my head towards the guy they had pointed to while placing my hands on the bar and leaning on them.

The girl nodded, "Yeah. I was just going to go talk to him."

I shook my head. "No, don't. You want him to notice you. So this is what you're going to do." I told her leaning in closer, only to have her friends lean in also. "You're going to go out there and get as close as possible without actually being near him. Bring one of your friends and dance your ass off, but make sure he can see you having a good time. Laugh, giggle, smile, whatever, just make sure he sees you. And then, when he asks you to dance, you accept, but don't sound too eager."

The girl smiled at me and nodded before she was about to walk away. I quickly grabbed her arm again and stopped her. "Not so fast."

I brought my hands up to her hair and ruffled it a bit. I wiped some of her eye-shadow off and fixed the smudge of eyeliner under her eyes. I smiled at her and told her she was ready. Her and her friends all giggled before they made their way to the dance floor.

I watched as they all began to dance once they reached the guy and his friend. The blonde made sure she was facing him like I had told her and I watched as she smiled and laughed with her friends as they dance to the music. She did some pretty hot moves and I watched as the guy had his eyes glued to her. I smirked to myself when he moved from his friend and made his way to the blonde, talking to her. She smiled and looked my way, winking before she responded to him. I smiled as I watched them dance.

I quickly apologized to the man in front of me, since I had made him wait for his drink as I watched my plan in action. I quickly poured him his drink and told him it was on the house.

I sighed as I watched everybody dance to the music. It has been a week since I had last seen or heard from Eli or Adam. What if Eli hadn't tried to contact me because he finally went through with killing himself? No, he couldn't be dead. Adam would have called me if he was, right? But why hadn't either of them called me yet? Eli couldn't be alright that fast. He was so broken the last time I had seen him. There was no way he could be fine after our talk. I felt a pain in my chest at just the thought of him back up on that roof.

My phone began vibrating in my pocket and I quickly fished it out. It was a number I didn't recognize, but I answered it anyways.

"Hey, it's me." I heard someone say once I answered. I pushed my finger into my other ear, trying to block out the music.

"Eli?" I questioned, probably yelling.

"Yeah, I just… are you free to talk?" He asked and then paused before speaking up again. "Where are you?"

"I'm at work." I said. "Hold on, I'll go to the bathrooms."

I quickly made my way to the bathroom and sighed once I was inside, realizing just how much quieter it is in here.

"Sorry," I told him.

"It's fine. I'll just call you later, you're busy." He said.

"No! I mean… how are you?"

"I'm fine."

"Eli." I said in a warning tone, knowing he was hiding something.

"… I don't think I can be alone right now, Clare." He said softly and I knew he was thinking about killing himself again.

"Where are you?"

"Home. Adam's at work so I can't talk to him. And you said I could call you if I needed to, but you're busy."

"Eli, can you drive?"

"Clare, just because I'm suicidal doesn't mean I can't drive."

I was silent. I can't believe he just said that. Well, who knows, maybe when he gets into his car he'll drive it straight off of a bridge or something. I don't know what's going on through his head and when he says things like that, it scares me.

"I'm sorry, I just… yes I can drive. The bar downtown, right?" He asked after I had said nothing.

"Yeah." I choked out.

"Okay, I'll be there in ten."

We hung up and I took a deep breath before I made my way back to the bar. I got back to mixing drinks and handing them to customers, trying to keep myself busy from worrying about Eli. He'll be fine. He'll walk through that door and everything will be okay.

Right?

I tried to get into the music, but it was useless. No matter how many songs played or how many dance moves I tried, I still couldn't get the thought of him driving his car off of a bridge out of my mind. Would he really do such a thing? I don't know the answer to that question, and that scares me. I just hope he's not on the verge of another break down. I don't think that would be good considering we will be talking in a bar. Unless my boss would let me take the night off. I'm sure Bianca would take my shift for me.

I looked over once I heard a bunch of cheers and whistling. I smiled as I saw Bianca kneeling on the counter while a guy was standing in front of her, his back towards the counter with his head tilted back as Bianca poured vodka into his mouth. All the guys around him were yelling and when he lifted his head, swallowing the liquid with a sour look, I couldn't help but laugh. Bianca took a swig from the bottle and looked over at me. She nudged her head in front of me and I realized I had completely ignored anyone who was ordering a drink.

I quickly got everyone there drinks, telling them I was sorry. They gave me sour looks and I rolled my eyes.

"What can I get you?" I asked as I wiped down the bar. I looked up and my eyes widened when I saw Eli. "Oh, hey."

"Hey." He smirked.

"Well, what will it be?" I asked.

He brought his fingers up to his chin as if he was thinking. "Surprise me."

I smirked and turned around to get him a glass of scotch. I handed it to him and he took a sip, his face scrunching. I laughed as he breathed out deeply. I said, "Not much of a drinker, I take it."

He shook his head. "Nope. Surprising isn't it?" He looked over at Bianca and I frowned, thinking that he was about to ask me about her, knowing he's probably interested in her. Of course he is, she's a goddess. "Does she always do that?"

It took me a moment to realize he was talking about what Bianca had done with that guy and the vodka. I shrugged, "Not on a regular basis. We do it when we want to have fun, or if we want big tips."

"_We_?" Eli raised an eyebrow in my direction. "So _you_ do that too, huh?"

I could feel my face heating up. "Well, that's normally what Bianca does. My style is a little… _different_."

"Different?" He asked. "How so?"

"You don't drink, so why do you care?" I asked, raising my own eyebrow at him. I knew where this was leading and I couldn't help but feel excited.

"I feel like I should try new things, and if it's anything like what she did, I'm in." He winked at me and boy did that make my heart sing.

I chewed on my bottom lip as he eyed me, waiting for me to respond. "You asked for it."

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><p>"Are you serious?"<p>

"You wanted to try something new, so go ahead!"

"Well, I didn't know this is what you were talking about!"

"Are you chickening out?"

"Hell no!"

I raised my eyebrows and smirked at his enthusiasm. I nodded and poured some vodka in a shot glass. Eli watched me as I placed the shot glass between my breasts and I couldn't help but feel a little ego boost as he licked his lips subconsciously. Bianca and a whole crowd of guys were watching us, cheering Eli on.

Eli looked up into my eyes and I tilted my head in a challenging way. He smirked and leaned down to my breasts, wrapping his lips around the rim of the shot glass before shooting his head back, his eyes closed tightly. Everybody cheered as he swallowed the liquid before pulling the glass form his lips, shaking his head. I laughed as Bianca turned to the guy beside her and gave him a high five.

"That wasn't so bad now, was it?" I teased Eli, ruffling his hair.

He laughed and then his expression turned serious as he stared me in the eyes, saying, "I want to do it again."

I turned to Bianca who smiled and gave me a wink, telling me to go again. I shrugged and got another shot ready before placing it between my breasts. Eli smirked at me before he leaned down. A small gasp escaped my lips when I felt him place a kiss on my skin just above the shot before wrapping his lips around the rim of the glass, pulling his head back and downing the liquid once again. I watched as his face twisted again, but I could tell it wasn't as bad as the last time.

Everyone cheered yet again and I couldn't help the smile on my lips. Eli had just kissed my chest and I swear I never wanted to wash that spot ever again. What the _fuck_? What is wrong with me? I'm turning into this overly obsessive girl who has a school girl crush on someone she just met. I need a drink.

I'm not supposed to be drinking during my shift, but my shift is almost over, so what the hell. I turned and got myself a shot before downing it, feeling the burning sensation as the liquid ran down my throat. I turned back to face Eli, only to see him talking to a girl. I could tell she was flirting with him and I had to suppress the growl I wanted to throw her way.

I need another drink.

I took another shot as I watched them continue talking. My eyebrows rose up when Eli had pointed at me and the girl frowned before walking away. I walked up to him and asked him what that was about and his answer shocked me.

"I hope you don't mind, but I told her you were my girlfriend." He said uneasily. "I didn't want to be harsh, so I said the first thing that came to mind."

I laughed, "It's fine, but don't expect a kiss anytime soon."

He chuckled and looked up at me. "What else is good here?"

"Hmm," I hummed, thinking for a moment before I turned around and mixed him a Coco Loco. I placed the class in front of him and he eyed the drink before looking up at me.

"What's in it?" he asked, picking it up.

"Coconut rum, cola, and lime juice." I told him. He shrugged before taking a sip. He looked satisfied and I smiled.

"You know," he spoke as he placed his drink on the bar. "You don't seem like the bar tender type."

"Just because I'm not a slut doesn't mean I can't be a bar tender." I told him.

"Ah, but you don't have the bitchy attitude, either." He smirked and I suddenly realized he was bringing up our last conversation about me needing to be bitchier.

"You want bitchy? I'll give you bitchy." I smirked at him as I reached down and pulled the water hose out from under the counter before spraying him with it. His hands came up to try and block the water as he turned his head away, and I laughed when I noticed he was getting soaking wet anyways. Bianca appeared by my side and snatched the hose out of my hands and glared at me before she put it back under the counter. I turned to Eli and couldn't help but burst into laughter as I noticed his hair, face and clothes were soaked.

"You're going to pay for that." He leaned over the counter to jump me but I quickly placed my hands on his shoulders, stopping him.

"You're not allowed back here." I smirked at him and he glared at me playfully. I squealed when he shook his head harshly, spraying little droplets of water on me from his hair. He chuckled as he sat back down and I glared at him.

Eli smirked before he brought his glass up to his lips and took a few sips. I grabbed a towel and placed it over his head before I tried to dry his hair. I wiped his face and he to push me away but I held his chin so he would stay in place. I moved so I was sitting on the counter, facing him. I began to rub the towel over his shirt, trying to dry it. I felt kind of bad for doing this to him.

When my hand had made its way south, I felt him grab my wrist, making me look up into his eyes.

"Do you really want to go there?" He asked, and my eyes widened when I realized I was two seconds away from giving him a rub down. I pulled my hand back and gave him the towel.

"Sorry." I muttered and he chuckled.

"I'm not saying I wouldn't _enjoy_ it, I just figured it would be awkward. I mean, _I'm_ fine with it, but I think it would be awkward for _you_." Eli joked, winking at me as he tried to dry his pants.

I leaned over the counter and smirked at him. I brought my hand up to his cheek and tapped it lightly, saying, "It's a good thing you're cute, or you'd be outta here."

I leaned back and grabbed a different towel, ignoring the look Eli was giving me as I wiped down the bar.

"You think I'm cute, huh?" He asked with that adorable smirk of his.

I cast a glance at him and nodded, popping the 'p' when I said, "Yup."

His smirk turned into a small smile as he slid his empty glass to me, "Can I get another?"

I smiled at him and turned to get him another Coco Loco. He drank it pretty fast and I wondered if he knew he would have to be taking a cab home. I laughed as he started freaking out over a song that came on. He suddenly jumped the bar and I looked at him wide eyed. He started pulling me out from behind the bar and to the dance floor.

I threw the towel on the bar counter before I let Eli lead me into the crowd. He turned around to face me once we stopped and stared into my eyes. His hands gripped my hips as he pulled me to him.

"Let's dance."

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><p>By the time we had gotten to Eli's he was wasted. We stumbled into the house with his arm around my shoulders as mine wrapped around his waist, and he laughed his head off for an unknown reason. I laughed at him; I never realized Eli being drunk would be this amusing.<p>

When we had gotten onto the dance floor earlier that night, I wouldn't have imagined he could actually dance. He would spin me around unexpectedly, bringing me back so our faces were only a few inches apart. I knew it wasn't quite the bar type of dancing, but I didn't care. The way he had looked at me as we danced made me fall all over again. It amazed me how well he could dance. But when we started grinding I felt my stomach doing cartwheels. This man just keeps getting better and better and I can't get enough of him. I meant when I said he was cute. He is _very_ cute… and sexy, and gorgeous and… ugh! Why does he have to have this effect on me?

Now, as I sat him down on his couch, I couldn't help but feel my heart flutter at the childish grin on his lips.

"Thank you, Clare. I've never felt this good in _so_ long." Eli told me, his words slurred. He chuckled as he pulled me to sit beside him. My eyes widened when he leaned over and pressed his lips to my neck, catching me by surprise as his free hand found the crook of my neck, holding me in place. He pushed me to lie back on the couch and crawled on top of me, placing open mouth kisses on my neck. I wanted to push him away, to tell him to stop, but I couldn't. It just felt so nice. I don't have guys banging down my door. Or knocking at all. It had been a while. I let out a soft moan when I felt him suck on my flesh, hating how much I loved the feeling. I whimpered when I felt his tongue trail up to my ear before he nibbled on my ear lobe. I wanted to continue this, but he's drunk and will most likely regret this if we went any further.

I finally got set my mind straight and pushed him away gently. His eyes found mine and he looked at me with a lopsided smile, a sign that he was drunk off his ass.

"You're drunk." I told him, pushing him to sit up as I followed.

"No, I'm not." he said leaning into me again, only to fall off the couch and onto the floor. He laughed and turned so he was facing me. "Okay, maybe a little." He lifted his forefinger and thumb up, leaving only about an inch of space between them, trying to show me how little he was meaning.

I sighed before standing up and bringing him with me before leading him to the stairs. I walked up and searched the rooms – finding Adam asleep in one of them, making me cover Eli's mouth with my free hand when he started laughing – until I found Eli's. He happily walked over to his bed and crawled into it, not even bothering in changing into more comfortable clothes. I walked over and pulled off his shoes before tossing them to the floor. I pulled his blanket up and over him when I realized he had passed out.

I walked out of his room and closed the door before making my way downstairs, feeling my eyelids drop slightly, but I tried my hardest to keep them open. I pulled off my heels and threw them to the floor, thinking I'll put them back on when I leave. I was just too exhausted to leave yet so I decided to sit down on the couch. I ended up lying down and resting my eyes.

I replayed the events of the night, from the scared sound of Eli's voice on the phone, to the way he kissed my chest before taking his shot, to the way we danced, to the way he looked so happy… and finally… to the kisses he placed on my neck.

And with the thought of Eli's lips on my skin, I was out like a light switch.

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><p><strong>Hmm… I wonder how Eli will feel when Clare tells him all about what he tried to do to her. Should be interesting. ;)<strong>

**I think this was kind of a fail. **

**Tell me what you think! Xoxo**


	4. We've Been Running Blind

Rescue Me Chapter Four

**My little cousin was born yesterday! I was at the hospital from 11am to 3:30am the next morning! Talk about crazy night. Though I did get to miss school yesterday because I was so tired. :D **

**Anyways, on to the story. Thank you for the reviews! I love them. You guys are amazing and I love you.**

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><p><strong>Regarding my other stories if you read them: <strong>

_**Immortal Night**_**: I have the next chapter ready, I am just currently editing it, so keep a lookout for an update. I will be updating this weekend, I promise. :)**

_**I Can't Stay Away**_**: This one will take a bit longer since the next chapter needs to be perfect. I'm thinking maybe a week? I have all of next week off from school so I will have time to write then, so maybe I can update earlier. But right now I think it might take a week.**

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><p><strong>Warning: …Don't hate me?<strong>

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><p><em><strong>Clare's POV<strong>_

I groaned and stirred in my sleep, not being a fan of the light shining in my eyes. I lifted my hand and covered my eyes, trying my best to block out the light so I could go back to sleep. I turned and cuddled into... I don't even know what I cuddled into. I peeked and eye open and realized that I was on a couch. I shot up when I realized that I wasn't just on _any_ couch… I was on _Eli's_ couch. I looked around and my gaze shot to the kitchen when I heard noises. I slowly rose from the couch and cautiously walked towards the kitchen.

Once I turned the corner I let out a sigh of relief to see Adam looking through the fridge. He poked his head up and closed the fridge, only to reveal several amounts of food cluttered in his hands. Adam looked over at me and raised his eyebrows as he looked at my hair before chuckling.

"Long night last night?" He joked, wiggling his eyebrows.

I could feel my cheeks heat up at his comment as my hands shot to my hair, trying to flatten it down. I'm sure I looked like a complete mess. I'm pretty sure my makeup was smudged all over the place and I probably look like a racoon. "I guess you could say that."

He placed the food on the counter and turned to me. The look on his face made me realize that he had something on his mind. I knew he was about to have a talk with me, so I tried to brace myself for what was to come. Maybe he thought that me staying over was too much? Well, to be fair I didn't plan on staying over, I just fell asleep.

"Thank you… for bringing him home. For being there for him. I would have been, but I was at work, and he didn't call me so I had no idea." Adam said softly, looking quite sad. "I feel like shit."

"Hey, it's okay. He told me he didn't want to call you and I couldn't leave work, so I told him to come on over. I hope I'm not horrible for letting him get as drunk as he did, but to be honest he had a really good time. He seemed different… he seemed better. Which maybe isn't a good thing considering his situation? Maybe alcohol isn't the best thing for him…" I mumbled on, realizing that if he felt amazing while under the influence of alcohol, he might go to it for everything. I didn't want him to become an alcoholic trying to drown out his problems.

Adam chuckled, "Nah, it's alright. He's not much of a drinker. He'll wake up and regret ever taking a sip of it. Trust me; he won't go near it again." I smiled as Adam explained what should have been the most obvious thing to me. Eli had told me he wasn't much of a drinker and after he wakes up he may hate me for letting him drink that much.

"I guess you're right." I said.

Adam nodded before he opened a cupboard and pulled out a bottle of aspirin. He poured a glass of water before handing me it along with two pills. "Here, go wake him up and give these to him. He'll need it."

I took the water and aspirin before I turned and made my way upstairs. I slowly opened the door to Eli's room and walked inside, envying how dark it was in here. He had black curtains hung up, making sure no sunlight could enter unless he wanted it to. I walked over to the bed and set the glass of water and aspirin on his nightstand. I giggled as I looked at him; his mouth was wide open and his cheek was squished into the pillow as he lay on his stomach. I watched his eyes flutter, wondering if maybe he was awake. I placed my hand on his shoulder and shook him lightly, but he didn't budge. I didn't want to just shove him and give him a heart attack, so I tried the gentle approach, but that didn't seem to be working.

I sighed in frustration after my third try of trying to gently wake him up, knowing I wasn't getting anywhere with this. I placed both of my hands on his back and shook him while saying, "Eli, wake up!"

He jumped and his head shot up. He groaned and rubbed his eyes, obviously not ready to wake up yet. He rolled over and placed his hand on his forehead, groaning; it had hit him. He peeked one eye open to look at me.

"What are you doing here?" Eli asked, his voice hoarse.

"I fell asleep on your couch." I shrugged. "Move over." He moved over a bit before I lay down on his bed next to him. I grabbed the aspirin and water before handing them to him. He looked at them and suddenly his eyes lit up.

"You… are a goddess." He muttered.

I smiled as he took them from my hands before sitting up and taking the aspirin. He gulped down half of the glass of water before placing it on his bedside table. He curled back up under the covers and closed his eyes as he turned to face me. I watched him curiously, wondering if he was going to say anything. Was he just going to go back to sleep with me sitting here? Well, it wouldn't surprise me; he is hung over.

I turned my head to stare at his ceiling, wondering if I should go home now. I guess it would be reasonable if I went home now; I'm not even that close with these guys and here I am in their house. Maybe I should be more careful and more observant as to where I am and where I fall asleep. Maybe I should get a rubber band so I could snap myself when I feel like I'm falling asleep and I'm not home. Hmm, that could work.

"What is _that_?"

I turned my head to look at Eli, noticing his eyes were glued to my neck. I got up from the bed and looked in his mirror, my eyes widening when they landed on the hickey Eli had given me. I slowly turned to him, my face as red as a fire truck. I laughed shortly, not knowing how to approach this subject.

"Well," I began while looking at him with uneasiness, "You see… you uh… you kind of…" I paused, trying to find my words. "It's a hickey."

"No shit."

"Well, that's what it is."

He rolled onto his back, his hands rubbing his eyes as he asked, "Who gave it to you?"

I paused. How in the world am I supposed to tell him that he had come onto me last night and that he was the one who gave it to me? Bring on the awkwardness.

"You."

He shot up from the bed and looked at me with shock. His eyes were wide and his mouth was agape. "What?"

"You gave it to me. You um… you came onto me and well…" I motioned my hand to the hickey and he stared at me wide eyed.

He turned and shoved his face into a pillow before groaning into it. He started running his hands through his hair, his face still buried into the pillow.

"What happened?" I heard him ask, his voice muffled from the pillow.

"That's it. We came here and then you pulled me onto the couch, climbed on top of me, started kissing my neck before I pushed you away." I shrugged and Eli lifted his head to look at me curiously.

He raised his eyebrows as I sat down on his bed again. He opened and closed his mouth, trying to get the right words. I lay down on his bed again and he closed his eyes while pinching the bridge of his nose. He opened his eyes to look at me.

"You pushed me away?" he asked and I nodded, wanting him to know that it didn't go any further. "Did you… not like it? Was I _that_ bad?" I could tell he felt awkward asking this so I kept my laughter on the inside.

"No, no, it wasn't like that." I told him, turning my gaze to the ceiling. "I enjoyed it quite much, actually." I turned my head to face him again, taking note of the smirk on his lips, but I continued. "But you were drunk and… I still don't know why you wanted to talk to me last night. What happened that made you feel like you couldn't be alone?"

His smirk dropped as he turned so he was lying on his back beside me, both of us staring at the ceiling.

"I just… I don't know. I just knew that if I didn't talk to somebody soon, I was going to think of another way to end my life."

"Okay, could you stop saying it like that? You just spit it out like it's _nothing_ but it's _not_. So just… stop." I said, feeling a bit upset at how easily he says things like that. He's always so calm about it and it scares me. It's like the fact of killing himself doesn't even faze him.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "I didn't know it bothered you that much."

"Yeah, well, it does." I got off of his bed and walked to the door. I paused in the doorway and ran my hand through my hair before turning around to face him. His lips were formed into a frown. "I'm glad you're okay, Eli."

I gave him a small smile and he returned it. I turned to walk out of his room but stopped when he called my name. I turned to face him once again as he said, "Promise you won't ever let me drink that much again. My head feels like it's going to explode."

I laughed as he rubbed his head, knowing the pain he was feeling. I smiled at him.

"Promise."

* * *

><p>"I want to meet him."<p>

My gaze shot up to Alli who was currently sitting across from me. We were at The Dot, trying to catch up since I had been with Eli for the past week. I had told Alli everything, from how I met Eli and what had went down the night at the bar. She had given me this knowing smile, noticing the obvious blush I had on every time I mentioned Eli's name. She was a little iffy about the circumstances of how we met; she wasn't too keen on me being into someone who is suicidal, but I told her that if she got to know him, she would change her mind. I told her how he is just so broken and that he needs someone to be there for him, and that I was going to be that someone. So, when she spoke up and said that she wanted to meet him, I wasn't surprised… I was more along the lines of nervous.

What if things didn't go well? I had told Alli more than I should have. Alli does have a big mouth and if something slips out, he might hate me and never want to see me again. That would be the best way to go. The other possibility is that he might try to commit suicide again, and I didn't want to take that chance.

"Alli, you do know that when you meet him, you can't just pounce in and ask him questions. He is very emotional and if you say the wrong thing, I don't know what he will do. So please, just be careful. Think before you speak." I told her, watching her as she took in what I had said.

"Clare, are you sure he's… safe? If just a simple question can tick him off, don't you think that something's not right?" Alli asked slowly.

I pinned my eyebrows together. "Of course he's safe, Alli, he's just broken. He's not dangerous to anyone but himself. He has a lot going on and I'm trying to make sure he keeps breathing." I spat harshly.

She looked at me apologetically. "Okay, I'm sorry. I just want to make sure you know what you're getting yourself into. This isn't an every day thing, Clare, and it's weird to know that my best friend is putting herself in this kind of situation. I mean, I was amazed to hear that you saved his life, and I'm _glad_ you did, but don't you think that if you stick around, he might get attached to you? You said that he doesn't have anyone, and by the sound of it, you guys are getting very close pretty fast."

"What are you saying, Alli?" I asked, my heart pounding in my chest. It scared me how much her words were making me nervous. I knew she was right in some sort of way, but I just didn't want to believe them. I knew that I had been around Eli a lot more than I should have been this week, but I just couldn't leave him alone knowing what he is capable of.

"I'm saying that maybe you should back off a bit. Try to limit your guys' time together."

I sat back in my seat, taking in her words. Maybe she was right. I had been spending a lot of time with Eli, but it's not like anything was happening. I would go over to his house to sit and talk with him, and most of the time it was about books or movies. We would go for coffee or just to get a bite to eat, nothing big. Sometimes Adam would join us and we would just hang out. I didn't really see the harm in that.

But I have noticed that Eli has been eager to hang out a lot of the time. He would call more then he needed too, and sometimes I would blow off my plans for him. I knew I shouldn't be doing that, but each time he calls me I get the image of him stepping closer to the edge of that roof and I'm always too scared that if I tell him I can't hang out, he'll do something drastic.

Maybe we were getting too attached.

"I'll talk to him, okay?" I told her and she nodded. "But in the meantime, how are you and Jake? I haven't seen him in a while."

Alli's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree and I knew the Eli subject was long gone. I smiled as she began to babble on about him. She told me that everything was great and that she really liked him. I already knew she had strong feelings for him, but I just let her tell me since I know she loves admitting it.

"…Oh, maybe Jake could come meet Eli too!" She said excitedly and my eyes widened.

"What?" I asked.

"Come on, Clare. You said Eli doesn't have friends besides you and his roommate, so why not? And I'm sure Jake wouldn't mind letting Eli talk to him if he wanted instead of him always going to you. This way you get a break." She smiled brightly and I narrowed my eyes at her.

"That's what this is about. You want Jake to meet Eli so then Eli won't be so attached to me. You think that Eli will just open up to anybody? Alli, do you not understand that this isn't something that can be fixed by the snap or your fingers?" I glared at her. "This is serious stuff and I'm not going to walk away from him when he needs me the most. I understand where you're coming from and I will make sure to limit my time with him, but I am _not_ going to just shove Jake his way and make him uncomfortable. You don't understand how fragile he is and that at any moment, he could break and the worst part is… he would do _anything_ to end his pain."

I huffed and sat back in my seat. Alli stared at me with a sad expression. I knew I had finally gotten to her.

"I'm sorry, Clare. I didn't know…"

I sighed, "It's okay. Just… let me do what I have to do, okay? I know what I'm doing."

She nodded, "Okay."

Just as she said this, my phone rang. I quickly fished it out and checked the caller ID, giving Alli a glance of hesitation. She sighed and nodded, telling me to pick it up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Clare."

"Hi, Eli." I said slowly.

"Are you free? Adam and I are planning on going to go see a movie and we were wondering if you wanted to come along." He asked and I could hear the excitement in his tone, making me frown.

I looked into Alli's eyes and I felt my heart drop at what I was about to do.

"I would love to, Eli, but I'm kind of hanging out with my friend at the moment." I told him, watching Alli smile softly.

"Oh…" I heard him mumble.

"I'm sorry."

"No, no, that's fine." He said, and I almost believed him. "You go have fun with your friend."

"I'll talk to you later, okay?" I told him, hoping he wasn't mad at me. "And you can tell me all about the movie."

"Yeah, okay. Goodbye, Clare."

I frowned at the pain in his voice and I knew that what I was doing was a good thing, even if it hurt him. Adam was with him, so I knew Eli wouldn't try anything with him there. I think some guy time would do Eli some good. Adam has been working a lot lately. That's one of the reasons Eli calls me so often; he doesn't want to be alone.

"Goodbye, Eli."

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><p><strong>Not as good as I hoped it would be, I'll admit that. <strong>

**Please tell me your thoughts. xoxo**


	5. Wild One

Rescue Me Chapter Five

**Sorry for the wait, but school is getting hectic. :/ I'm sorry this is so short, but I just didn't know what else to put. I'm kind of bad with that, lol. This is just a filler chapter, so yeah. Not sure when the next chapter with be up. **

**Sorry for any mistakes!**

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><p><em><strong>Clare's POV<strong>_

"Pierce the Veil?"

"Love them. My favourite song is _I Don't Care If You're Contagious_."

"Nice choice, Edwards. Hmm… Blood on the Dance Floor?"

I could feel my cheeks blushing as I opened my mouth to speak. "I only know a few songs."

"What's your favourite?" Eli asked as he took a bite of his ice cream, his eyes too busy looking elsewhere.

"_Sexting_."

His eyes shot up to mine and I quickly looked away, feeling the heat rush all the way to my ears. I tugged at the hem of my shirt, trying to keep busy. I couldn't look at him, knowing that that smirk that I adore so much was plastered on his face.

"You're serious?" I heard him ask and I shyly nodded my head, still too afraid to look him in the eyes. My lips turned into a frown when I heard him begin to laugh. _Laugh_. He was laughing at me! I felt humiliated and suddenly regretted even opening my mouth. Why did he have to bring up that band? Any other band and I would have been perfectly fine but no, he just had to mention them. And I just had to open my mouth and tell him that I liked one of the dirtiest songs out there. God, why am I so stupid?

I finally looked up at him to see him looking at me as he laughed. He placed his hand over his mouth but didn't stop laughing. Was it really that funny?

I shrugged, "It's a good song." I picked up my spoon and took a bite of my ice cream.

He suddenly stopped laughing. "You're right, it is a good song. Sorry for laughing."

I shrugged it off and ate my ice cream in silence. He didn't say anything and I was thankful for that. I wasn't really in the mood to have an awkward conversation right now, and changing the subject just wouldn't do. I wish Alli were here so she could slap me for being so shy. I mean, it's just a song right? It's not like I actually do what the lyrics imply, so what's the big deal? I wish I wasn't so shy about that subject. Ever since…

I shook my head from that thought, realizing that I was about to enter a dangerous territory. I glanced around the little ice cream shop, watching as people walked by. I turned my gaze to Eli to see that he was staring at his ice cream, the spoon in his hand as he stirred the sweet treat around in the bowl. He had a frown on his lips and I wished I knew what to say to make things less awkward.

"Thank you for hanging out with me. I know you probably had something better to do, so this means a lot." Eli spoke up, though his eyes stayed glued to the melting ice cream in his bowl.

It had been four days since I had last seen Eli, though he called a few times when he felt like he needed someone to listen to him. I took Alli's advice and kept my distance from Eli for as long as I could, but when he called this morning just needing to talk to someone, I realized that I wanted to see him. I missed him. It helped that I had already owed him for not going to the movies with him and Adam, so I asked him if he was free. And when I saw him again I couldn't help but feel a little taken aback at how my heartbeat picked up. He looked pretty damn good for a man who was so broken inside. It amazed me how he could still looked so held together when on the inside he was being torn apart. I wanted to help him, I wanted to be there for him, and maybe that was why I was getting all these feelings. Recently, I would always get this weird feeling in my stomach and I wondered if it meant anything.

I had pushed that thought aside, thinking it had meant nothing. After all, I haven't known Eli for very long, just a couple of weeks, but when the phone would ring I couldn't help but feel this excitement, hoping that it would be Eli. They way he would say certain things or how he would explain something that he had truly taken an interest in made me hold my breath, wanting to saviour the moment. Was I going crazy?

But when Eli had spoken up just now and told me that for me to just be with him meant a lot to him, I knew things were going in a bad direction. I was getting certain feelings for this man and I knew that I had to stop them. We're just friends who met on horrible circumstances. Suddenly, Alli's words rang in my ears. _You guys are getting very close pretty fast._ Maybe Alli was right. We have been talking a lot lately, and most of the time it was about pointless things. I told Eli that he could call me if he needed someone to talk to, but when he calls, it's usually just to talk to me about nothing in particular.

Maybe he was getting attached to me.

But that didn't stop me from telling him something that I should have lied about.

"I didn't, you know," I said, and Eli slowly lifted his head to look at me as I continued, "have anything better to do."

When his eyes locked on mine and his lips curled up into a smile I could feel my stomach flutter, and I knew that I had to get out while I still can.

* * *

><p>"I did something I shouldn't have." I told Alli as I walked in her front door.<p>

She stood up from the couch and I replaced her by collapsing onto it and shoving my face into a cushion. I groaned into the pillow, kicking my legs and hitting them against the couch, letting out my frustration. I could feel her rubbing my back as she sat down next to me.

"What happened?" She asked and I let out another groan.

"I hung out with Eli this morning." I mumbled into the cushion, hoping that my voice was muffled enough for her not to understand what I had said.

"WHAT!"

Dammit.

I sighed and sat up, not even bothering to fix my hair. "He asked to hang out and I… I wanted to. I missed hanging out with him, Alli. I just needed to see his face, to see if he was okay." I rambled, hoping she wouldn't rip my head off.

"Clare, I precisely told you to spend some time away from him! What were you thinking?" Alli asked.

I stood up so I was facing her. "I was thinking that he needed a friend. I thought that just one little hang out wouldn't do any harm."

Alli sighed, "Okay, okay. Just, try and keep your distance from him for a while, okay? I'm not saying cut off all contact with the guy but just try and limit your time together. Talking over the phone is fine as long as you're not constantly on it. And I'm not saying to stop seeing him; coffee dates are fine, but don't stay too long. Stay long enough to see if he's alright and if he is tell him your meeting a friend or somethin-"

"Since when did you have the authority to tell me what to do?" I interrupted her, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm not trying to tell you what to do, I'm just saying that if you don't distance yourself now, it'll be too late and you'll be in too deep. He might depend on you for everything." I frowned when I realized she was right. "What if you meet someone? What if your time was always spared for Eli and you suddenly don't have time for him anymore? That might hurt him more than anything, Clare, and you never know what he'll do."

I took a deep breath as I tapped my foot on the floor, weighing my options. Alli was right in many ways, but I just didn't know if I should listen to her or not. Yes, Eli could possibly become attached to me in some way, but was that really a reason to stop hanging out with him? If I only spend a few days a week with him and made it clear that I had other people in my life, he wouldn't get too dependent on me, right? I mean, it's not like I'm the only person in his life…

I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the ache in my heart when I realized what I had to do.

"Okay," I began, letting out a sharp breath, "I'll keep my distance from Eli."

* * *

><p><em><strong>One Month Later<strong>_

"He did what?" I giggled into the phone.

"He started singing Single Ladies in his birthday suit. I swear to God, Clare, it was the most hilarious thing I had ever seen in my life!" Alli laughed.

I grimaced at the image of Jake dancing to Single Ladies while he was naked. That was just not the sight I wanted in my head while I was at work.

"You should have videotaped it! That would show him to never drink that much ever again." I told her while pouring a drink for a guy who was waiting. I slid him the glass and he smiled before placing a few bills on the bar. I gave him a smile and a nod before taking the cash and slipping it into my pocket.

"Ha, ha, next time."

"Alright, well I'm going to let you go now. This music is just way too loud and I can barely hear you!" I yelled into the phone, most likely bursting her eardrum.

Alli agreed and we hung up. I continued passing drinks to customers for the rest of the night, enjoying the music that was playing. I didn't have much on my mind during my shift like I normally did. This allowed me to actually focus on doing my job rather than thinking about everything totally irrelevant to what I was doing. I was actually able to serve people without having to apologize for not paying attention. I could see Bianca smiling from across the bar, knowing that I wasn't slacking like I normally did. Don't get me wrong, I used to always be amazing at my job, and I still am, but lately my mind wasn't in the right place. Lately, my mind has been up in the clouds, and now I had to bring it back down and bring myself back into reality. It was time to put my big girl panties on and handle everything like an adult. I had been letting my feelings get in the way of my job and my life.

Thank God for Alli.

Alli was my rock. And although I don't always agree with what she says, I appreciate her input. I know that I'm not always right and I'm not always the brightest star in the sky, so having Alli by my side to tell me when I need to snap back into reality helps me a lot. If she wasn't there to show me the consequences of everything than I would most likely be in a lot of trouble right now. And because of this I made a mental note to tell her how much I appreciate her friendship.

I laughed when Bianca jumped up onto the bar and started dancing to the pop song that was playing, watching as all of the guys whistled and hollered at her sexy dance moves. They cheered her on and it only willed her to take it up a notch, dropping to her knees and arching her back as she threw her head back. The bar filled with the cheers of the horny men, making me roll my eyes with a giggle.

The way her body moved in such a natural way, the music flowing perfectly with her dance moves, made me a bit envious of her. I knew that if I tried to do half of the things she does I would end up tripping and falling on my face, making a big fool out of myself. I was fine with the way I am, who I am, but at times I wish I looked a little bit more like Bianca. Though I wasn't _big_, I didn't have her perfect slender body. I didn't have the ability to send a sexy smirk to any guy I wanted, and I bet that if I tried I would end up looking like I smelt something disgusting or had an ugly twitch. I just wished that I was somewhat sexy like her. I want to be able to feel the hungry stares as I walked through the bar, but no, that was Bianca's thing.

Suddenly, out of nowhere I feel Bianca pulling me up onto the bar, tossing the dishtowel I was holding to the side. I stood up there like an awkward turtle, waiting for something to happen. Wide eyes and a confused smile were placed on my face, most likely turning every guy off in the place.

"Haller at my girl over here!" Bianca yelled.

I was surprised to see everyone raised their drinks in the air and cheer as if I had just flipped off of a ten story building and landed on my feet like a cat. I laughed nervously as Bianca took a sip from a vodka bottle before handing it to me, urging me to take a chug. Everyone cheered the word, "Chug," and I shakily took the bottle form her hands. I brought the bottle to my lips and closed my eyes as I tossed my head back, letting the liquid burn down my throat. Everyone cheered even louder as I pulled the bottle away from my lips and shook my head, trying to get rid of the taste.

Bianca grabbed me and started dancing across the bar with me. She grinded into me making all of the guys whistle, and I decided to play along, grinding into her also. I laughed as we kept dancing; we dropped down and slowly and torturously rotated our hips back up, sliding our hands over our legs as we did so. I bit my lip and smiled, finally feeling comfortable enough to do some sexy moves, boosting up my ego when everyone cheered.

This was just what I needed.

* * *

><p>The terrorizing sound of my cell phone ringing woke me up the next morning. I turned over with a groan and grabbed it off of my nightstand, knocking over a few things in the process. I placed my hand over my eyes as I laid back down, fiddling with my phone until I knew it was unlocked.<p>

"Hello?" I grumbled after I placed the phone to my ear, trying to ignore the pounding pain in my head. Maybe I shouldn't have stayed after my shift to party with Bianca…

"Clare?"

It was Adam. He let out a tiny laugh, obviously liking the fact that he had woke me up from a blissful sleep.

"What?" I asked, not having enough energy to greet him nicely.

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed." He chuckled and I groaned, bringing the covers over my head. "Are you hung over?"

"Mhmm." I mumbled.

Adam sighed, "Well, I just wanted to ask you something. And if the answer is yes than I hope you used protection."

"What are you talking about, Adam?" I asked with my eyes closed.

"Is Eli with you?"

_No. He hasn't been with me for an entire month, and might I just say that the mention of his name sends a sharp pain through my body. Why, you might ask? Because I am the biggest bitch in the world that always turns him down when he asks to hang out, that's why. Oh, and while I'm on a roll here I might as well add that he hasn't even called me for the past week because of how cruel I am. He must have finally been hit with reality and realized that I'm no good for him. If you're looking for him he's probably with a girl who is actually willing to give him the time of day._

"No, why?" I said instead. I suddenly figured out that Adam had implied that if Eli was with me, that meant we were both wasted and we most likely went at it like rabbits. Though the idea didn't seem to bad, I still doubt we would have gone that far.

My eyes snapped open as I shot up in bed, my heart pounding at his words. Suddenly, my headache didn't seem so bad.

"Well… he's gone."

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><p><strong>Review and tell me what you think! Xoxo<strong>


	6. Within Chests Carved With Regret

Rescue Me Chapter Six

**Sorry for going M.I.A on you guys. I've been quite busy lately. But, I had a sudden inspiration for this story and I wrote this for you guys! :D **

**I actually really like this chapter, and I hope you do, too. I worked my ass off trying to get this to be perfect, and this is as close as I got. Hope you guys enjoy it! :)**

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><p><em><strong>Clare's POV<strong>_

"What do you mean _he's gone_?"

My heart pounded in my chest, my breath became uneven, my palms becoming sweaty with every passing second. The room was spinning, the walls were closing in on me; I couldn't breathe. Eli was gone.

"What do you mean what do I mean? He's gone, as in, not here. I came home and he was nowhere to be found. I called his cell phone but he wouldn't pick up." Adam said, his voice in a panic. "Do you know where he could be?"

I knew he was worried about Eli's whereabouts, and so was I; the fear of not knowing where he is or what he's doing was eating away at me. With Eli, everything was a mystery. He could hide his feelings very well. He never said what was on his mind, always keeping to himself. He was very fragile, and even if he's hurt he always seems to act like everything was okay. He didn't like people knowing how he truly felt; he didn't want their pity. I know how he is, I know what he's like, but yet I still don't really _know_ him. He's like a closed book with a lock on it, waiting for someone to find the key and open him up and read him.

I felt so stupid and idiotic for telling him I needed space. The one time he actually had someone to talk to in his life he couldn't, because I wasn't there for him. I knew he might need me, and yet I listened to Alli and kept my distance from him. I should have known it was wrong to do that; I should have known it would have had a big impact on him. I mean, I convince him he can trust me, only to break that trust by telling him I have more important things to do than to take a few minutes out of my day to see if he was okay.

"I – I don't know," I muttered, finding my voice, "I'll… I'll keep an eye out and if I find him, I'll call you."

"Okay." Adam sighed into the phone. "Thanks, Clare."

"Yeah," I muttered through the frown on my lips, "No problem."

After we hung up, I sat there in my bed for a few minutes, my eyes glaring a whole into the phone in my hands.

My feet pounded onto the floor as I jumped out of bed, hurrying to throw on some clothes. I didn't even check in the mirror before I left my room; the way I looked was the last of my worries, though I'm sure I look like a piece of crap. My feet slid across the floor as I hurried into the kitchen, turning on the tap before throwing open two cupboards, grabbing a cup from one and the bottle of Advil from the other. Filling up the cup of water quickly before taking a sip, I tossed a pill into my mouth before gulping it down. If I wanted to concentrate on finding Eli I needed to get rid of this headache. Grabbing the bottle of Advil, I made my way to the front door before grabbing my bag and keys, tossing the bottle in my bag before closing my door, one hand concentrated on locking the door while the other tried to put my shoe on my foot.

Once everything was done I made my way to my car.

* * *

><p>"Come on, come on," I muttered to myself as my hand tapped urgently on the steering wheel. My eyes were scanning every inch of Toronto as I drove around. I have been driving around for about two hours now and no luck. My heart was pouncing in my chest with fear. What if he was already dead? What if he had found a new way to kill himself where no one would find him?<p>

Just the thought of Eli no longer breathing tore me apart inside.

The loud shriek of my phone ringing made me jump in my seat, my eyes finding it on the passenger seat. I quickly pulled over and picked up the phone, watching as Adam's name flashed across the screen. I quickly answered with the hope that he had found Eli, eager to know if his heart was still beating.

"Did you find him?"

"No." Adam answered sadly. "I was calling to see if you found him."

Sighing, I let my forehead fall to the steering wheel. I closed my eyes and licked my lips. "Nope. I've looked everywhere and there was no sign of him."

Adam sighed, "Well, I've called everyone who knows Eli and they haven't seen or heard from him."

I paused and chewed on my bottom lip, afraid to ask what was threatening to slip between my lips.

"What if–" My voice broke as I choked on my own words. I took in a deep breath before continuing. "What if he's gone, Adam? What if it's too late?"

"No." Adams sharp voice made me cringe. He sounded broken and sad. He sounded hurt that I would even say such a thing. "No, I refuse to believe that he's gone. He's out there; we just haven't looked hard enough."

I sighed but knew Adam was right. Deep down, I honestly believed that Eli was still alive, though it was hard to not think about the other possibility.

"Clare," Adam spoke, "for the few weeks that he was hanging out with you he had been happy. And for Eli that was a rare sight. But lately he hasn't been that way. It's like he was back into his old ways; moping around all the time, never wanting to talk, always drowning himself in music. He would literally stay in his room and blast the music. Do you know what happened?"

The frown on my lips grew with each word that escaped Adam's mouth. Of course I knew what happened. I was the reason for sending him back in his slump. And that made me feel like the biggest bitch in the universe.

"I think it may have to do with the fact that I told him that I needed some space." I said uneasily, hearing Adam groan on the line.

"Why would you do that? Do you know what that must have sounded like to Eli? I'm pretty sure he heard _'You're too emotionally damaged for me so why don't you go drown in self pity while I go on with my life?'._"

"I know! I'm sorry!"

"Why would you say that?" Adam asked.

"He was getting too attached, Adam. He was going to eventually depend on me for everything and when Alli told me that-"

"Wait, who's Alli?"

"My friend."

Adam sighed. "Clare, I know it must have seemed like that, and who knows, maybe he would have gotten a little attached, but he needed someone to count on and when he finally got that he was finally finding himself again. He was actually living his life and it was because of you. _So what_ if he got a little attached? Sooner or later he would have realized that he could finally live his life the way he wants to, and you'll probably just be someone who helped him out of his slump."

Adam continued, "Look, I saw what happened to him when he stopped hanging out with you. He was a mess; let's just put it that way. He's been like that for almost a month, and I'm pretty sure it was hell for him. I could only imagine what he felt like, but I do know that he thought he couldn't confide in me, otherwise he would have. But you… he was really beginning to open up to you, to trust you, and you ripped that away from him. I'm not saying that you are a total bitch or anything, but I think we're past saying you're sorry. The only thing you could do now is find him and help him."

I took in every word that slipped through the speaker of my cell phone, analyzing them well. Every single one was true and I knew that Adam was right. It was too late to be apologizing to Eli; the only thing I could do is find him and try and help him. At this very moment I made a mental promise to myself. I promised that I would try and help Eli, no matter how long it will take, or how much effort I would need to put into it, I would help him. I would let him depend on me if needed be, I would let him confide in me when he needs to, I would be there for him whenever he needed me.

"You're right." I told Adam through the phone as I sat up in my seat, my eyes staring outside the windshield. I was determined to find Eli even if it was the last thing I did. I at least owe him that much. "I'll find him. I just wish I knew where he likes to go."

"Well, did you try the place you met him?"

"Yeah, I searched every inch of that building, including the roof, but he wasn't there." I sighed.

"Well, I don't know." Adam paused. "Wait, he did mention this lake a while back. He said something a cabin and a doc or something. Good luck with finding that-"

"Thank you, Adam!" I yelled into the phone.

Not waiting for a reply, I ended the call before zooming down the street, making my way to the one place I should have started with.

* * *

><p><em>Please be here, please be here, please be here, please be-<em>

My feet stopped and I felt a wave of relief wash over me when I saw Eli sitting at the edge of the doc.

I quickly ran over to the doc, my footsteps silent in the sand. My heart was pounding faster in my chest with each step I took. He was alive and breathing.

I slowly walked over to him and stood behind him for a second, waiting to see if he knew I was there. I wasn't being very loud, and he didn't seem to move at all. I slowly sat down next to him, watching as he still stared out into the lake. It looked like he didn't even care that I was there. He was just staring at the water, watching it glisten and ruffle, as if nothing else mattered.

"What are you doing here?" I asked softly.

"As if you care." Eli responded, his voice emotionless. His eyes stayed focused on something in the distance as he carelessly threw rocks, watching them as they skipped across the water.

"But I do." I responded, trying to get him to look at me. But all I got in return was a scoff and a roll of his precious eyes.

I sighed in defeat when I realized he wasn't going to forgive me as easily as I thought. He was really upset with me and I knew by his actions that a stupid apology wouldn't do the trick. I had to choose my words carefully with him, especially now. If I say the wrong thing he may never forgive me, and I can't bear the thought of him hating me. I know that I would probably deserve some hurtful words right now for what I've done, but I knew that if he were to say any, my heart would crumble.

"Why are you here?" I asked softly.

My eyes studied his face carefully, eyeing every detail of his face; his perfectly structured jaw, his flawless skin, his breathtaking eyes, his sun-kissed lips. My eyes studied him as a viewer of a famous art work would study the piece, taking in every marking, every blemish, every significant shape, wanting to be able to remember every detail.

"Where else would I go?" Eli responded, all emotions hidden.

I shrugged, unable to answer that question. I frowned at the way he was treating me. I mean, I know I deserved it, but he was being so harsh. His voice was as cold as ice when he spoke. His words and expressions were more bitter than a freezing cold December winter night. He wouldn't even look at me and I wondered if we could ever get past this. I knew that he would be mad, but I never thought that he would hate me this much.

"I'm sorry." I blurted. I wanted him to turn to look at me, so I could tell him while looking into those fascinating eyes that I missed so dearly, but he stayed facing ahead. "I'm sorry for not being there for you. I know you needed me quite a lot this past month, and I kept blowing you off, and for that I'm sorry. I know it doesn't do much or make up for anything, but I just can't take this torture anymore. I can't keep pretending like I don't want to see you, or hear your voice, or listen to you ramble on about things I could care less about."

My heart was pounding in my chest when I realized he still wasn't looking at me as I spoke. I was panting as I took a break, but I wasn't finished. There was way more I needed to say and he needed to hear it and I wasn't leaving until he does.

"Look, I know you may think that I pushed you away because I was getting sick of you, or that I didn't actually care about you-"

"That's the reason, isn't it?" Eli interrupted me as he kept facing ahead of us. "You realized that I'm just some low life who has too many issues for you to handle, that you don't actually want to deal with a guy as messed up as me, that you should have left me up on that roof to finish what I had started-"

"No!" I said firmly, interrupting him. "No, God, no! You don't get it, do you? If I wanted to leave and have nothing to do with you, Eli, I wouldn't be here right now. But I am here. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere until you hear what I have to say. I know I crossed the line with cutting you off completely, but I was just scared. I knew that I was getting too close with you, and that scared me." I kept waiting for him to face me, for him to look into my eyes but it never happened.

"I know it gets hard sometimes, Eli, I really do, but you can't just run away when things get tough. You scared Adam half to death, and don't even get me started on how terrified I was. I was going crazy." I paused, waiting for a reaction, but didn't get any. It was like I was talking to a robot. "You may not know it, Eli, but you do have people who care about you. So the next time you want to run away, leave a note or something telling us where you are. Talk to one of us if you ever feel alone."

"The last time I tried that you told me you were busy with someone that actually mattered to you." Eli spat.

"I know I'm obnoxious at times and a tad bit selfish, but I did _not_ say that and you know it. Please stop trying to turn my words around." I pleaded, getting sick of his act. Eli was good at hiding feelings, but he wasn't an expert. He let his guard down quite a few times during my speech, letting me know that I was indeed breaking through his wall, though he kept trying to build it back up.

"Tell me what's wrong." I said softly.

Eli sighed in defeat and let his gaze fall to his hands in his lap. "It gets so lonely being on my own."

I figured he was finally letting his guard down, finally letting me in again, so I started speaking again. "I may not be the best person for comforting someone in your position, but I'm trying. I'm trying my hardest to make sure you know you have somewhere to go if you feel like you're alone. I'm trying to show you that even though I can be a total bitch and an idiotic douche at times, I'm still always going to be here for you. If you ever need someone to turn to, I'll be here, no matter what. No matter what bullshit that comes out of my mouth, always remember that my door is always open for you. Just call or show up or anything, but please, don't shut me out. I want to be here for you, I want you to let me in. I just want-"

My speech was cut short when Eli turned his head to me, his hand cupping my cheek before bringing me to him, connecting our lips. Before I could even register what was going on, I could already feel my eyelids fluttering shut at the feeling of his tasteful lips. Saying I was shocked would be a huge understatement. But even though I was caught off guard I couldn't help but move my lips with his, slowly and sensually. They tasted like sour apples – making me wonder if he had eaten one recently – and I couldn't get enough of them. I didn't even fully understand what was going on or how this happened; all I knew was that I have never felt like this in my life. I felt as high as a kite, as light as a feather. My mind was spinning as my hand reached out to grip onto his collar, bringing him closer so I could have more.

More, more, more. I wanted _more_. I wanted to taste his tongue, I wanted to feel his arms around me, I wanted to feel his body flush to mine. I wanted more. I _needed_ more. I just couldn't take the fact that he wasn't deepening the kiss; it was driving me insane. I wanted to let myself melt into him, but by the way he kept his hand on my cheek, his other by his side, I knew he wasn't planning on taking this further. I tried not to dwell in disappointment, so I tried focusing on how these past few seconds felt like an eternity; I never wanted this moment to end. I never wanted this feeling to end. The butterflies in my stomach fluttered about, the stars I was seeing twinkled, making my mind a bit fuzzy. I felt fireworks with this one touch of our lips and I wondered what it would feel like to have more.

But he had other plans.

Eli slowly pulled away, his forehead glued to mine as the reality of what just happened sank in. My eyes were still closed as I tried to get down from the high I had just experienced, and I hoped he felt the same. I could feel his hot breath on my lips as we breathed in each others heavy breaths. That kiss took my breath away and I wondered if Eli knew what it did to me.

He slowly pulled away from me as I finally opened my eyes, and sat in his original position, looking ahead. I stared at him in shock, waiting for him to say something.

"I've always wondered what that would feel like." He said softly, staring out into the distance. I watched as he grabbed another rock before throwing it out into the lake.

"And?" I asked breathlessly.

Eli turned his head to look at me, a monotone look on his face, showing no expression. He stood up and stared down at me, putting up his wall again. I wanted to kick and scream and rip my hair out; the way he was acting was going to make me end up in the mental institution.

"You tell me."

With that he walked away, never casting a glance back. I could feel my whole world shake with all of this. I was feeling dizzy and confused, though I wasn't going to let him get away that easily.

I quickly stood up and ran after him.

"Eli, wait!"

When Eli turned around to look at me, I could see the annoyance on his features, and because of this, I felt a pang through my chest.

"Don't worry, Clare. If I have any thoughts about slitting my wrists or jumping off a bridge or hanging myself, I'll give you a call." He said sarcastically, igniting a fire inside of me.

He turned to walk away, once again leaving me to take in what just happened. I huffed and leaned down, picking up a rock before throwing it at him. It just skimmed him and hit the ground only a few inches away from where he was walking, making him jump slightly.

"You're such an asshole!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

He spun around to face me quickly and smirked. "Wouldn't you rather me be an asshole than a dead man?"

I panted harshly as I glared at him; hot, angry tears were streaming down my cheeks, though I didn't notice until I tasted the salty liquid on my lips.

I watched with hurt eyes as he walked away from me, never even glancing back.

* * *

><p><strong>-Dodges rocks being thrown my way-<strong>

**Don't hate me, okay? This story needed some drama, so here it is. This isn't going to be a happy story all the time. It's going to be slightly upsetting in a few chapters, though it _will_ get better. Trust me, I can't have a story being depressing for very long. ;)**

**If you have any questions or ideas, feel free to PM me. :)**

**Review and tell me what you think! *heart***

**Xoxo**


	7. Tell Me That You Will Listen

Rescue Me Chapter Seven

**I'm kind of in love with this chapter, and I hope you are, too. Please leave a review and tell me what you think. *hearts***

**Please ignore spelling mistakes if any. **

**Thank you to my talented Beta, MunroCola, for helping me with this chapter. You are amazing. :)**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Clare's POV<strong>_

"Go away," I moaned into my tear-soaked pillow. The rapid knocking on my front door continued, and I realized I hadn't spoken loud enough. I sniffled and lifted my head, wiping my tears away before repeating myself, yelling it this time.

"Clare," Alli's voice sounded from the other side of the door, and I rolled my eyes. Of course it would be the last person I wanted to see right now. "Clare, open the door."

It was her fault I was hurting like this. It was her fault that Eli hated me. She was the one who told me to stay away from Eli, to "get out before I had my own personal stalker", but that had only made the situation worse. I knew that it was partly my fault for actually listening to Alli instead of following my gut, but she had planted the idea in my mind, and it had grown.

It wasn't until I had seen Eli for the last time that I realized just how much I wanted him in my life. The way that he looked at me with dull, emotionless eyes broke my heart. The way he walked away from me without looking back… it made me want to kick and scream and cry and slam my head into the wall. He acted as if I had never meant anything to him, as if he had never meant anything to me, and that tore me apart.

But that kiss – when he kissed me, I was unprepared, unfocused, and shocked, and yet I remembered every detail. Even though he had caught me off guard, I still managed to respond, and that was the best decision I had ever made. And the way it made me feel – the way my body buzzed with need, the way my mind spiralled with unexplained emotion and longing… it made me realize that I needed Eli just as much as he needed me, and if I hadn't listened to Alli, he would still be in my life. If none of this happened, Eli wouldn't have left.

But he also wouldn't have kissed me. He wouldn't have made me see that we were part of each other now, whether we liked it that way or not. And even though I was heart-broken right now, I knew that I wouldn't trade it for anything.

"Please, Clare."

I finally rolled out of my bed and made my way to the front door. I opened it lazily and watched as Alli's lips turned down in a frown when she noticed my red, puffy eyes.

"You haven't been answering my calls or texts. What's up with you?" She asked.

I turned and walked back into the living room, hearing the door shut behind me as Alli followed. I sat on the couch, cuddling up into the far end and wrapped a blanket around me. Alli sat down a few inches away from me, looking at me with soft eyes. They were filled with curiosity and I realized she doesn't know about what happened between me and Eli.

"What's wrong?" Alli asked.

"Eli hates me." I sniffled. "He hates me, Alli. You got what you wanted; he's out of my life now!"

"Whoa, whoa, hold the phone. What are you talking about? I didn't want Eli out of your life." Alli said confusedly.

"Then why did you tell me to keep my distance from him? Why did you put those thoughts in my head about him getting too attached, about him becoming too dependent on me? Because now he's gone and I realize that I'd rather have him in my life as a _crazy stalker_ than not have him in my life at all!"

I was getting angry for some reason, but it did feel good to get this off of my chest. Alli stared at me with wide eyes as I vented shaking her head and looking at me oddly when I finished. She placed her hand on my knee and looked me in the eyes.

"Calm down, okay?" She said softly. "What exactly happened?"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I began to tell her everything that had happened two days ago. I stuttered quite a bit as I spoke, and my lip quivered when I got closer to the time Eli's lips were on mine; I didn't want to remember that. That kiss was what was keeping me sane, yet thinking about it made me go crazy. The way his lips felt pressed so gently to mine would be forever burned inside of me, and the fact that I may never been able to feel that way again made my chest feel like it was closing in. I wasn't sure what these feelings meant, but as I explained the kiss to Alli, her face changed.

"He kissed you?" She asked with wide eyes. I slowly nodded and wiped away a tear that slid down my cheek. I watched intently as she chewed on her bottom lip; she had something on her mind. "And how did you feel about that?"

I opened my mouth to speak before snapping it shut; I choked. I was frozen and unsure of what to do. I was ready to tell her how it affected me, to tell her how much I enjoyed it, but the words wouldn't come out. It was like there was something in my throat keeping them silenced inside me. I looked into Alli's awaiting eyes and swallowed hard, knowing I had to try and get over this. If I wanted to feel better in any way than I needed to get this off of my chest.

"I was shocked at first," I finally spoke, watching Alli nod. "I didn't even know what was happening for a few seconds, but the longer his lips were on mine, the more I wanted. And when I actually kissed him back…" I took in a ragged breath as my eyes drifted shut, remembering the feel of the kiss, the warmth of his hand pressed to my face and the careful way he moved his mouth against mine. "It was like I was in a whole other universe. I felt so different, so…free. I felt like I could do anything." I opened my eyes and looked at my smiling friend, no longer angry with her. I was too wrapped up in the memory of the kiss, and I needed her to be there for me. "Alli, it was just so incredible. I couldn't even think straight, but I knew that I never wanted it to end."

Ali's smile grew as she stared at me, listening to every word I said. I wanted to know what was going through her head because I was utterly confused. The kiss was replaying in my head over and over again, and I tried to keep the tears in as I waited for Alli to say something.

"Clare," Alli began with the cheeky smile still in place on her lips. "I hate to break this to you, but I think you're falling for Eli."

"I am not!" I said instinctively, shooting up from the couch. The blanket was now on the floor and my fists were clenched to my sides as I stared at Alli. I watched as her eyebrow rose in a challenging way, as if she knew she were right and was just waiting until I realized it.

"Clare, how can you be so blind? You're so torn up over this guy because you think you may never see him again. The kiss he left you is the best kiss you had ever had in your life and you can't get it out of your head. You are trying so hard to put the blame on me when in reality you're mad at yourself because you let him get away." Alli explained to me, staring up at me with soft eyes. "Face it, Clare… you're head over heels for this man."

* * *

><p>My heart thudded loudly in my chest.<p>

"_You're so torn up over this guy because you think you may never see him again."_

So loud that I could hear it pounding in my ears.

"_The kiss he left you is the best kiss you had ever had in your life and you can't get it out of your head."_

I licked my dry lips tentatively, trying to focus on the road.

"_You are trying so hard to put the blame on me when in reality you're mad at yourself because you let him get away."_

I groaned and squeezed my eyes shut for just a second, trying to get rid of these thoughts.

"_Face it, Clare… you're head over heels for this man."_

Alli's words rang through my ears over and over again, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get rid of them. They were spinning around my mind, whispering in my ear every time I thought they were gone. It was like my conscience was trying to get me to admit that Alli was right, trying to get me to finally accept the fact that _I_ was the one who was becoming attached, not Eli. I was the one who was going insane; I was the one losing my mind over someone I barely knew. It was _I _who was having constant thoughts about Eli. I tried so hard to get rid of them, but each time, I failed. It didn't matter what I tried, nothing worked; I kept on forgetting to forget about Eli and it was pissing me off. I had these unexplainable feelings for someone I wouldn't even know if I hadn't saved his life – it was so twisted. It makes me sick to think about the fact that if our paths hadn't crossed, Eli would be dead, and I wouldn't even be fazed by it because I wouldn't have known him.

I wouldn't have gotten to know him. I wouldn't know that he was one of the most beautiful people I had ever met in my life. He was badly damaged, slightly broken, and being his friend wasn't conventional or easy in the slightest – but it was worth it, because he amazed me. He made me notice things I wouldn't have before. He made me see everything so differently – and right there in that moment, I knew that though I had saved him, he had saved me too.

I had been trying so hard to get rid of Alli's words circling my head, but I couldn't, because I knew she was right. I didn't want to believe it, because there was a huge chance that Eli didn't feel the same. He pushed me away, he kissed me and then ran off, and he acted like a total ass. And yet, I couldn't get him out of my head. I couldn't let go of the feelings I had developed or of the memory of that kiss – It was like I was seeking misery as my company.

I could feel myself giving up slowly, longing to give into my feelings and go to him. I wanted to hear his voice, and to get on my knees and beg him to let me back in his life. Something about him was just so addictive, and I was losing myself with the need for him. It seemed impossible to ever let him go.

And then, it hit me like a tidal wave. I realized that I needed him – possibly even more than he needed me. I was never going to be able to quit him, not if Alli told me to, not if I told myself to…not even if _he_ told me to.

Ever since that kiss, I had changed. It sparked something deep inside of me and brought me back up to the surface of a pond I had been sinking in down since I had met Eli. Everything that I had been hearing, every thought that had been placed in my head wasn't truly mine. Alli was the one who told me that if I let him, Eli would get attached to me; he would become _too_ dependent on me if I stuck around. And I listened because I wasn't thinking straight.

But the truth was that he would have been fine. He would have called me when he needed someone to talk to, when he felt alone, or when he just wanted a friend. We spent a lot of time together, but everything would have been fine if I hadn't thought too much about the situation. Everything would have remained perfect. I knew Alli was just trying to look out for me, but that backfired and I couldn't help but feel a little bitter. I thought too much about what _could have _happened instead of focusing what was actually going on, and I had lost his trust. I had lost him. God, he had no one except Adam! I had been the one other person he had confided in, the sole other being that seemed to help keep his feet on the ground, and I had basically run away.

I put more pressure on the gas pedal as I zoomed down the street, emotion sweeping over me. I was determined to make things right again. I wanted to at least _try_ and fix this. I wanted try and start over, if possible. I wanted to see if there was any chance that maybe Eli and I could work this out. I wanted Eli in my life, I needed him, and I wasn't going to give up without a fight.

* * *

><p>There I stood on the doorstep of his house, glaring a hole into the door. I had been standing there for about five minutes now and I still hadn't gotten the courage to knock. The thought of Eli possibly slamming the door in my face when he saw that it was me was taunting me and it hurt to think about. He was already upset with me - what if I made it worse?<p>

I took in a shaky breath as I lifted my fist and hit it softly against the door three times. I let it fall to my side as I waited for the door to open. I could hear noises from the other side and a voice mumble something about holding on a second before the door swung open and my eyes clashed with the enchanting ones I had been fawning over since I had seen them. He looked tired – maybe I shouldn't have come at such a late hour. The sweatpants he was wearing hung low on his hips and made me want to reach out and touch his hip bones; the way his t-shirt hugged his firm chest made me want to bury myself into it, though I refrained myself from doing both. His hair was sticking up every which way and he had dark, purple circles under his eyes. He looked like a beautiful disaster.

Eli stared at me blankly, silently asking me why I was here, what I wanted, and could I _please leave so he could go on with his life?_ And because of that look I wanted to run away and hide, to give him what he wanted, because it sure wasn't me. But either way, I found enough courage to step inside his house, push open the door and him to the side so I could walk in fully. I stood awkwardly in the middle of his living room, hearing the front door close softly.

"Please, Clare, come on in," Eli said sarcastically as he walked over to the couch and sat on the arm rest.

I stood silently for a few moments, lost in thought.

"Why did you kiss me?" I asked as I turned to face him. He looked a bit taken aback by my question, staring at me with shock and confusion.

I wasn't too sure on how to start this conversation, but that's what slipped out and I figured it was a pretty good place to start. It had been taunting me; the question of why he had kissed me to just turn around and run away right after. What was the point of kissing me if he was just going to run away?

"Why does it matter?" He asked after a few moments, interlacing his fingers in his lap. I knew he was avoiding the giving me the truth, and that wasn't okay with me. I wasn't here to bullshit anything. We had been stepping around the truth for far too long now, and if we were going down, we were going to do it fighting.

I stepped closer to him, preparing myself to let everything out. There was no holding back this time. "Because… I have been going insane ever since you did. I haven't been able to get you out of my fucking head. I can't stop thinking about it; it's just there in my mind going around and around. And I'm confused as fuck, because right after you gave me the best kiss of my fucking life, you ran away. You made me feel like a complete bitch for pushing you away, but then you go and do the exact same thing! I tried to make things right, I tried to apologize… what else do you want from me?"

My chest heaved up and down as I panted harshly. My voice was harsh as I spoke; everything that was eating me up inside was finally off of my chest. He finally knew how I feel and it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of me. But I could feel my heart slowly breaking with the look on Eli's face. It was the same expression he had on at the lake: emotionless. It was like what I had said hadn't even affected him. It was like what I had said had gone in one ear and out the other, like he wasn't even listening to me.

Eli sighed and stood up from the couch and I watched as he walked into the kitchen. I followed close behind him, not wanting to give up yet.

"I was scared," I heard him softly say as he opened a cupboard and took out a glass before placing it on the counter. I watched as he just stood there, his eyes locked on the cup. "I was scared to death that everything that you had said to me was just a lie until you would leave again." He slowly turned around to face me, his sadness filling his eyes. "_That's_ why I kissed you."

"Even after everything I had said about me always being there for you?" I asked.

Eli turned his head and looked at the wall as he bit the inside of his cheek before turning to look at me again. "I thought you were lying. You told me that before; you told me I could always come to you when I needed someone to talk to, when I felt alone, and when I did you told me you had better things to do. I wasn't sure if you would push me away again."

I stepped closer to him slowly. My eyes were filling up with tears when he was explaining his feelings; I was a total bitch. No wonder he ran away. He couldn't trust me; he thought I would just cut him out of my life again.

"I'm sorry," I told him hoarsely.

"You already said that," He answered, turning to open the fridge to grab a can of Coke. I listened as he opened the can and poured himself a drink, and for a second I wondered why he didn't just drink it from the can. But that was Eli. That was him, in all of his strange, endearing ways.

"I know," I breathed, unable to speak any louder. "Just listen to me. I'm sorry that I made you feel that way…that I made you think that I didn't want to be there for you. I wasn't in the right state of mind and I wasn't myself. Like I said before, I will _always_ be here for you, no matter what. I can't promise that things will always go smoothly, or that things between us will be easy, but I can promise that I will never, ever leave you alone like that again."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," Eli muttered as he took a sip of his drink, unfazed.

"Are you fucking serious?" I asked in disbelief and anger. "I'm trying to apologize, to tell you that I'm here for you, and you can't even accept it? God, Eli, I have these stupid feelings for you that I can't seem to get rid of, and it's driving me insane. I don't know why, because you don't seem to even give a shit about me, but I want you in my life. I need you too, Eli! Can't you see that I'm practically begging you to forgive me, to let me in so we can at least be friends for fucking sakes?"

I haven't sworn so much in my life. But something about Eli and this whole situation has got me worked up that I suddenly had the mouth of a trucker. The way Eli seemed to be so unfazed while I was practically heaving with emotion made me want to hit something.

"I hate feeling like this. I'm so tired of trying to fight for you to actually listen to me. If you want me out of your life then tell me, because I'm sick of these mixed signals you're sending me." I told him. My voice was much softer now; all of my energy was gone.

"It's not that I don't want you in my life," he began as he turned to face me, "it's just that I know I'm too much for you. I'm fucked up, Clare, and you don't need that in your life. I'm an anchor. I just keep pulling everyone down with me and you don't need to be one of them. You were fine before you met me and you'll be fine without me."

I could feel my chest closing up at his words; the thought of him not being in my life was tearing me apart, killing me on the inside, and I wasn't sure if I could handle it.

I opened my mouth to speak, but Eli cut me off.

"But… that doesn't mean _I'll_ be fine without you." He said softly. He looked sad, scared, worried, and I stepped closer to him, knowing I wasn't able to stay so far away from him anymore. "You're the only one that knows me and I _need_ you near me to keep my mind off the edge."

His eyes were teary, making a tear of my own fall onto my cheek. I quickly stumbled toward him before wrapping my arms around him, letting myself fall against him as we rested against the counter. He slowly wrapped his arms around me, his face burying into the crook of my neck as I listened to him let out a shaky breath. He's soft to the touch, but I'm afraid at the end he might break. So I held him close, closing my eyes as I did so, wanting to have him in my arms forever. "I need you, Eli. I need you as much as you need me. I…you've become so special to me. I'm here, okay? If you ever need me, I'm here." I told him softly while running my fingers through his hair.

Eli lifted his head to look me in the eyes, his hand coming up to wipe away my tears. "You shouldn't be crying over me."

"I can't help it; you kind of made a big impact on me." I told him, my arms still wrapped around him.

His eyes scanned my face as his fingertips traced my jaw, making me go crazy. I closed my eyes as I let the feeling of his fingertips on my skin fog up my mind. The way his body was so close to mine, radiating warmth made me pull him slightly closer. His slow breaths were hitting my face as we stood there for a few minutes, taking each other in.

"I really want to kiss you again," he finally whispered softly, his breath hitting my face.

My eyes snapped open to look at him, my hands slowly sliding down to rest on his chest. I smiled softly and looked up into his eyes, leaning just a tad up.

"I'm not stopping you."

Eli's eyes flashed with something before his lips came down to mine, capturing them in a kiss filled with need. He walked toward me and pushed me up against a wall, his hand on my hip; his other hand was cupping my neck, keeping me there as our lips moved together. My right hand tangled in his hair as my left moved down to his hip, gripping it lightly before traveling to his lower back, pulling his body closer to mine. I wanted to feel more. I _needed_ to feel more this time. It was my chance to finally get more from him and I was dying inside to give it a try. So I pulled away briefly, only long enough so I could cast a glance at his gorgeous face before opening my mouth against his, prying his lips open so I could taste him. His tongue met mine and I blushed when I moaned into his mouth, though he kept kissing me. The feeling was incredible; it set me on fire. He pressed his body to mine, making my mind go blank. I couldn't focus on anything other than the sweet, sinful feeling of his tongue on mine, the extreme way my body was tingling with the feeling of him being so close, the way he was destroying my thoughts with just a kiss like a burning, consuming fire.

I felt as if I couldn't breathe, though it wasn't from the lack of oxygen. My hands roamed his upper body, pulling and tugging on his shirt, trying so hard to keep this feeling going for as long as I could. His tongue tangled with mine over and over again, the feeling overwhelming me. I slowly hitched my leg up and around his, pulling him closer; a low moan escaped both of our lips as our lower regions brushed against one another's. Our kiss broke, to my dismay, as we tried to control our breathing. My mind was still spinning with the reality of what just happened while I stood there, clutching onto Eli for dear life. I kept my eyes closed as I brushed my nose against his cheek, my heavy breaths mixing with his. I could feel his hand nervously tugging on the belt loop on my jeans; I opened my eyes to see that his were still closed, his chest heaving up and down rapidly. It was a hypnotizing sight to see him so worked up, and it was nice to know that I wasn't the only one who was greatly affected by this.

I watched as Eli's eyes slowly fluttered open and he looked into mine; the intensity of them made my knees wobble a bit, though I stayed standing. I wasn't completely done with this moment, this feeling, and I wasn't going to stop until I was completely drained.

"One more round?" I breathed as I reached up to brush my fingers against his cheek. I shifted on my feet, causing me to step up closer to him for a brief second, our lips brushing in the process.

"Couldn't hurt, right?" He breathed with a light smirk.

I cupped his face in my hands and leaned up until our lips were connected. I moaned lightly when his tongue found mine, his hands slowly and carefully rubbing circles on my hips. My right hand left his face and moved to the collar of his t-shirt, bunching it up in my hand. Our tongues formed a wet dance of tangled muscles, my mind going into another frenzy. My shirt had ridden up just slightly, revealing about an inch of my skin, and when Eli's hand caressed it softly, I grinned as he let out a low groan. He muttered something against my lips, telling me to jump, and I complied, wrapping my legs around his waist. His strong hands held me up by my thighs as he moved us from the wall and began walking, my mouth busy on placing wet, open mouth kisses on his neck.

Eli placed me on the couch roughly before climbing on top of me. Our breathing was heavy as we stared into each other's eyes, and I still couldn't believe that this was really happening. When I pulled him down to me forcefully I could feel butterflies in my stomach when he smiled against my lips; he had no idea what he did to me. I wasted no time in pushing my tongue into his mouth, desperate for his sweet taste. He didn't seem to mind by the way his tongue fought mine for dominance, obviously enjoying this moment just as much as me. My hands traveled down to his hips, and for a moment I just wanted to roam my hands all over them, just to get a permanent image, but I knew if I stopped there I would be wasting precious time. I took the hem of his t-shirt and bunched it up in my hand, slowly and torturously bringing it up; my knuckles grazed his skin lightly and I couldn't wait to run my hands over it. Once I had gotten his shirt up to his torso, he pulled back and let me remove it from his body.

Eli leaned down and placed his lips on my neck, doing wonders to my flesh. I breathed deeply as my hands roamed his revealed skin, running my fingertips over his smooth flesh. I traced imaginary lines along his side, feeling goose bumps form. As I felt his tongue poke out to tease my flesh, my hands made their way to his smooth chest, his firm abs, his broad shoulders; I roamed my hands over every visible part of him I could, wanting to remember every crevasse. His teeth lightly nibbled on my flesh as my hands made their way to his back; a soft moan escaped my slightly swollen lips as I raked my fingernails down his back softly, feeling the vibration of his moan against my neck.

I couldn't take it anymore. I gripped the back of his head and pulled it up, staring into his eyes before crushing my lips over his forcefully. I hitched my legs around his waist, locking my ankles. His right hand came up and rested on the couch next to my head, holding himself up as his other hand ran up and down my side. I grabbed enough courage and took a chance and lifted my hips up, rubbing myself against him. I nearly exploded with an undesirable, yet foreign feeling when Eli moaned in my mouth. My nails dug into his flesh as he pushed his hips to mine, unable to stop while we were ahead. We swallowed each other's moans as our hips kept a slow, steady pace. His hands made a beeline for the hem of my shirt, sliding themselves under the fabric before slowly bringing it up as his cold fingertips danced their way over and up my flesh. This feeling that had taken over my body was so overwhelming; I was losing my mind. I couldn't even focus on anything; not when Eli's hands were touching my un-touched skin, not when his lips were paralyzing me in an undeniable, irresistible way, not when he was making me feel _so good_.

Eli's hands had finally reached the underline of my breasts, and when I thought we were about to step into a territory that I was unfamiliar with, he stopped. His hips had stopped; his lips were frozen against mine, his hands trembling slightly as they rested on my rapidly rising and falling chest. He pulled his lips away from mine slowly but kept his face close, his nose brushing mine softly. He stared into my confused eyes, and I suddenly knew what had happened. The reality of what would happen if we continued had hit him and he knew he had to stop. Even though I wanted nothing more than to continue, I knew it would be best if we stopped now, though every fiber in my body was disagreeing.

I leaned up and kissed his lips softly before taking his bottom lip between my teeth, watching his eyes flutter shut as I pulled away. His lips curled up into a tiny smile as he opened his eyes, pulling down my shirt to its original position. He leaned down and placed one last, final kiss on my lips while his fingertips traced my jaw lightly.

Eli pulled away and my eyes widened when he rolled off of me and onto the floor, a low groan escaping his lips with a soft chuckle. I rolled onto my side and peered down at him curiously, watching as he lay there on his back with his eyes closed. I smiled softly as I watched him, taking in his breathtaking appearance. If just kissing him made me feel like this, I couldn't wait to find out what it felt like to do _more_.

I slowly took my phone out of my pocket and got the camera ready, making sure his eyes were still closed. I held the phone in front of my face and pointed it at him, pressing the camera button, hearing it click. Eli's eyes snapped open and he looked at me as I smiled shyly at him.

He smirked confusedly and asked, "What was that for?"

I shrugged, "Just a reminder of this day."

He smiled lightly as I showed him the picture. He reached up and I thought he was going to take the phone to delete the picture, but he put the phone to the side before interlacing our fingers together, his eyes examining them as he did so.

And when his eyes flashed up to mine and he grinned, I knew we were okay.

* * *

><p><strong>Kind of all excited about how this turned out. What did you guys think about it? What do you think is going to happen? Tell me in a review! :D *Hearts*<strong>

**Xoxo**


	8. Now You Own Me, All I Am

Rescue Me Chapter Eight

**I'm sorry for the delay; I just wasn't into writing for a while. My uncle passed away recently and after that I was just kind of out of it. But I got a spring of inspiration and made this chapter. Hope you like it.**

**Also, I realized that in the beginning of the story I had said that Alli and Clare were roommates, but I completely forgot about that so let's just say they live in separate houses.**

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><p><em><strong>Clare's POV<strong>_

The sound of a door shutting had awoken my senses, my eye lids fluttering slightly. My hand had gripped a soft material while I felt soft breathing on the top of my head. I opened my eyes and looked down at what I was cuddled into: a smooth chest covered in a t-shirt, which happened to be bunched up in my hand. I slowly looked up to see Eli's tired face as he blinked repeatedly. It was then that I noticed the position we were in; a tangle of limbs, his arm wrapped securely under and around me, my hand clutching his chest. For a moment I wondered how we had ended up like this, or how we had made it to his room, but that soon passed when I let myself melt into him, feeling the warmth radiating from his body.

"Hmm," Eli moaned as he tried to sit up, but I couldn't have that, so I put more of my body weight on him and pushed him back down, digging my head into his neck.

"Don't move," I muttered into his shoulder, feeling his hand slide to my back. "Not yet."

Brushing my nose against his neck, I let his sweet intoxicating scent fill up my nostrils and fog up my mind. I closed my eyes and let myself fall into the feeling of his heartbeat against my palm, summoning feelings and emotions I had never known I had to the surface, urging me to make a move. But I didn't want to move. I didn't want to leave his embrace, to leave this comfort. The sound of his soft breaths made me want to hold him tighter, and I subconsciously pulled him closer to me, crushing our bodies together.

Sounds of clinking and clanking were echoing from downstairs, making me wonder why I hadn't noticed it before. Was Eli expecting company?

"I think Adam's home," Eli muttered, and that's when I noticed just how close his lips were to my ear. I listened as there were sudden footsteps heading up the stairs. I knew this moment was going to end a lot sooner than I wanted, so I placed a kiss on his shoulder. "This should be interesting." I giggled and turned my head, placing my lips to his neck for a gentle kiss. "If you keep giving me kisses it might as well be on my lips," he said.

I lifted my head and grinned at him, loving the sparkle in his eyes. Leaning forward, I watched as his lips slowly turned up into that adorable, breathtaking smile of his. But with my luck, just as our lips were about to touch…

"Hey, Eli, sorry about not calling- oh..."

Eli's eyes widened playfully as he smirked at me before he moved his head to look behind me. Ignoring the fact that my face was as red as a rose I turned my head to look at a smirking Adam. Adam cleared his throat, gave Eli a playful look as his eyebrows rose, and turned on the balls of his feet before exiting the room. I scrunched up my face and let out a laugh of embarrassment before burying my head into the nape of Eli's neck. He chuckled lightly as his hand found my lower back, running his fingertips over it.

I sighed and rolled off of him, only to lie beside him. We lay there for a few moments, listening to the faint noises coming from downstairs, the both of us wondering what the next move would be. Absentmindedly, my hand had brushed against him, and from the corner of my eye I could see him bite his lip.

"Oh, fuck this." Eli groaned.

I opened my mouth to ask what that was about but was silenced by his lips as he crawled on top of me. My hands cupped his face as his tongue met mine, igniting something inside of me. The kiss was passionate, strong, untameable, and everything I wanted in that moment. His lips were so soft, so addicting, and nothing in the world could ever compare to how I felt right now.

He pulled away to take a breath, making me long for the feeling of his lips, of his taste, and in a matter of three seconds I almost went insane.

"A little more," I moaned before bringing his lips to mine, arching my body up into his.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him harder, moaning into his mouth at the feeling of his fingers brushing my skin just above the waistband of my pants. Memories of last night were flooding up my mind and it amazed me to know that each kiss I had with this man just kept getting better and better. I didn't even think that was possible. And as my lips moved with his I felt like I was drowning. Drowning in a whirl pool called Eli.

"God, I can't get enough," I groaned as his lips found my neck.

I smiled softly as I felt a wicked grin appear on his lips before his teeth lightly nibbled on my flesh. I trialed my hand down and around until I reached his back, my nimble fingers gripping the hem of his shirt before sliding it up. His fingers slid behind the hem of my shirt and up as he teased my flesh; I was fire. I couldn't take all of this anticipation, all of this excitement, so I grabbed his face in my hands and lifted it up before pressing my lips to his roughly. He moaned against my lips and crushed his body to mine while I let his hands roam my smooth stomach. My hands ached to touch him, and when my fingertips came in contact with the smooth, warm flesh on his back, I nearly lost my mind. I palmed his back, wanting to feel every inch of his exposed skin, much like last night. Taking his bottom lip between my teeth, I nibbled lightly, feeling his lips curl up before he pressed his lips to mine fully. I let his tongue explore my mouth for only a second before I massaged it with mine, losing myself in the moment. When my fingertips brushed the waistband of his sweat pants my heart beat had begun to race, but just as I was about to explore Eli grabbed my hands and placed them on the bed.

Eli pulled away slowly. His eyes were closed and he breathed heavily through his parted lips. I took in the beautiful sight; his tousled hair, his plump lips, his heaving chest. It all just sent a tingly feeling down my spine.

"Adam's probably tweeting this right now," Eli joked as he opened his eyes. I let out a short laugh. "We should go downstairs before he gets the wrong idea."

My eyes widened and I nodded, "Good idea."

Eli chewed on his bottom lip before climbing off of me, fixing his shirt, leaving me lying on his bed to take everything in. I had just made out with Eli twice in less than twenty-four hours. Could this day get any better?

I finally crawled off of the bed and tried to fix myself, making sure I looked the least bit presentable. Eli made his way out into the hallway and I followed, my eyes gazing at his back side. I watched the way his back muscles moved beneath his shirt as he walked, and when my eyes travelled south my breath caught in my throat. God, he was just so irresistible.

I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my palms flat against his stomach. He stopped walking and we stood there, waiting for something to happen. I felt his hands hovering over mine for a few seconds before they fully covered mine, twisting his fingers around mine. I leaned up and brushed my lips against his ear.

"Hang out with me tomorrow," I suggested softly, watching his head turn slightly to watch me from the corner of his eye. "I want you to meet somebody."

Eli turned in my arms and gazed at me softly, hesitantly. He chewed on his bottom lip as if contemplating his answer. I wondered why he was so conflicted; why he couldn't just say yes; didn't he want to hang out with me? But then I realized that what I had said could be kind of frightening for him. He wasn't one to go out and socialize, and doing this is a big step for him because he was a troubled man.

"Who would I be meeting?" He asked softly.

"My friend, Alli."

"The one who told you to stay away from me?" His voice was sharp, but I could still detect the hurt. "Adam told me. I guess he thought that if I knew why you didn't want to be around me that it would make it better. But he was wrong."

"Eli," I sighed as I placed my hands on his arms, "it's not that I didn't want to be around you, because believe me, I did, but I was just over thinking everything too much, and I thought that if we spent too much time together that we might get attached. Too attached. And that's the last thing I wanted."

Eli sighed and ran his hand over his face. "Are we really about to have this conversation in the middle of the hallway?"

I shrugged. I honestly didn't want to get into another fight, not after everything that had happened between last night and this morning. I knew that this conversation would be coming up at some point but I didn't think it would be now. Especially since Adam was right down the stairs.

"It doesn't have to. It can wait," I told him as my fingers played with the hem of his shirt.

"Well, I think that it would be a pity to ruin this day with that boring conversation, so what do you say we ruin tomorrow instead?" Eli asked with a smirk. I giggled and grinned at him, nodding my head.

As we finally made our way downstairs I could feel Eli's hand on my lower back, caressing it carefully while trying to stay close, and I smiled to myself at the feeling. When we walked into the kitchen I almost snorted while trying to hold in a laugh as Adam came into view. He had a knowing look on his face with a suggestive smile, all while wiggling his eyebrows. I could feel my face heat up and I turned to leave the kitchen, almost running into a wall before I actually made it into the living room. I could hear them whispering about something as I tried to find my things, grabbing my bag and my jacket, trying to remember if I had anything else with me.

"BOOYEAH!"

My eyes widened at the sound of Adams voice before the sound of Eli consistently shushing him echoed from the kitchen to the living room. It was pretty obvious that Eli had just shared the details about what had happened between us, just like any normal man would have done, but when they exited the kitchen and acted as if nothing had happened, I said nothing and let them have their fun.

"I think I should head out," I spoke up.

"Oh, uhh, I'll walk you to the door." Eli said as he made his way towards me.

I turned to walk toward the door and smiled as I looked at the window, only to see the reflection of Adam doing a humping motion with his hips and Eli threatening to slap him. I turned to look at them and with their luck they stopped immediately and Adam began to whistle, acting as if nothing had happened. Eli cleared his throat as we finally made it to the door.

We stood there awkwardly, wondering what was supposed to happen now. Eli cast a glance at Adam and he only nodded suggestively, but when Eli raised his eyebrows Adam coughed obnoxiously and said he needed to get a drink.

Eli opened the door and I stepped outside, turning to look at him. He stepped out also and opened his mouth while rubbing his neck awkwardly. Suddenly, he stuck out his hand; I eyed it for a second before slowly placing my hand in his, sharing the most awkward handshake I have ever had. It was just plain awkward.

"Oh, okay," I said, "uh, goodbye, Eli."

"Goodbye," Eli said before turning to walk back inside, and because neither of us noticed that the door had closed, Eli had walked right into it, a loud _smack!_ sound echoing off. "Ow."

"Oh my god, are you okay?" I asked as I stepped closer to him.

He turned to look at me with his eyes squeezed shut, his hand covering the side of his forehead as he groaned in pain. I removed his hand from his forehead so I could get a good look, noticing a slightly red area. I lightly trailed my fingertips over his sore flesh, hearing him hiss as I did so.

Eli opened his eyes to look at me and laughed, "That really fucking hurt."

I laughed with him and cupped his head in my hands. He eyed me for a second, his laughter only growing as we both realized just how stupid this situation is. I leaned up and placed my lips to his forehead, hearing him let out a soft sigh. I pulled back and kept my face close to his, looking into his eyes as our noses brushed.

Everything happened so fast; my body had suddenly found a mind of its own as my lips found Eli's, kissing him like the world was going to end today. My hands cupped his neck and pulled him close to me, just wanting to have a little more before I had to leave. I had no idea what this had meant, and honestly I didn't want to think about it at the moment, but all I knew was that I was falling, hard and fast, for this man and I just hope he would catch me.

I pulled away and breathed, "I'll see you tomorrow."

I quickly turned on my heels and jumped into my car, starting it up. I cast a glance out the window to see Eli was still standing there, one hand on his forehead and the other on his lips. I let out a shaky breath before driving down the street.

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><p>"Where is he?"<p>

"I'm sure he'll be here any minute now."

"Are you sure he's coming?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Well then where is he?"

"Alli, calm down. Shouldn't I be the one worrying about if he shows up or not?" I asked as I laughed at my best friend.

"Well I'm sorry, but I just don't want to see him stand you up." I gave her a look. She sighed and I knew she had cracked. "Alright, I guess it's possible that I'm a little anxious. I mean, how would you feel if you were meeting my boyfriend who just happens to be suicidal?"

I was a little taken aback by her comment, but she was too busy freaking out to notice.

"First of all, he's not my boyfriend. Second of all, he's just in a dark place. I'm trying my best to help him Alli, and by the looks of it I think he is slowly getting better." I explained, wanting to defend Eli. Just because Alli didn't know him didn't mean she had the right to judge him. "So, please, don't drill him with questions. Try and actually make friends with him… please?"

I gave her a pleading look, pouting and poking out my bottom lip, knowing it was her weakness. I could see the wheels turning in her head and I knew she was just on the edge of breaking and giving into me. I watched in victory as her beautiful eyes rolled annoyingly before a defeated sigh escaped her plump lips.

"Fine!" She threw her hands up and I squealed before wrapping my arms around her.

"Thank you!"

"So, what's up with you two anyways? Where does the relationship stand?" Alli asked after I finished giving her a hug. I sat back into the couch and tried to ignore the feeling of my face heating up.

"I'm not completely sure. I mean, after yesterday… I'm just confused as you are. We haven't really talked about it," I explained. I brought my bottom lip between my teeth as my teeth nibbled on it lightly. I was wondering the exact same thing. I had no idea where Eli and I stood; after all of the intense kisses we shared, I would have expected some kind of definition of what was going on between us, but I was too caught up in the moment to stop and ask him.

"Well I'll be sure to ask him when he gets here." Alli winked with a wicked grin.

My eyes widened. "No, don't do that. Please, no, no, no, don't you dare do that," I begged as I crawled towards her, panic laced in my voice.

She laughed at me and just as she was about to say something there was a knock at my door. Both of our heads snapped towards the door and we watched as it opened before Jake came waltzing in. I jumped up with a smile on my face before I jumped over to him, wrapping my arms around him for a hug. He laughed at my childish ways before returning the hug.

"Hey! I haven't seen you in forever! How are you?" I asked as we pulled back from the hug.

"I'm great. How about you? Alli says you have someone coming over…" Jake wiggled his eyebrows and I groaned, knowing just how much he loves to embarrass me in front of anybody I'm interested in. I guess that's what I got for knowing Jake since I was six.

"I do, but please don't make a big deal out of it. I swear if you mess this up I will mess your face up."

Jake laughed sadly before frowning. "I won't, I promise." He paused, "Alli told me… about him and how he is."

I frowned and looked away. I guess it's no secret. Everyone thought Eli was a psycho maniac. What a great first impression. And he wasn't even here yet!

"Don't worry, okay? If you want I can lighten the mood by telling embarrassing stories from when we were kids." Jake grinned at my horrified expression.

"No, oh god, no!"

Jake laughed before bringing his hand up to the top of my head and ruffling up my hair. Just as that happened I heard Alli clear her throat, and for a second I thought she just wanted some time with her man, but as I turned I stopped breathing for a second. Eli stood awkwardly in the doorway with his hands in his pockets as he stared at Jake and me with an uncomfortable expression on his beautiful face.

I scrambled to fix my hair before I walked over to him.

"Hi," I smiled once I stood in front of him.

His eyes were gazing behind me for a couple of seconds before they locked with mine; I almost frowned at the unreadable emotion in them. "Hi," He replied.

I stepped aside and beckoned him to enter and he complied, stepping in hesitantly. I closed the door and turned to see Alli chewing on the inside of her cheek while Jake just looked between me and Eli. It was silent for a while as Eli stood to the side, obviously not fully comfortable with being here.

Jake grabbed the bag that he had brought and lifted it up. "I brought beer."

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><p>My lungs burned, my stomach ached and my cheeks were sore from all of the laughing. I don't know what was so funny about the story Eli had told but either way he had sent us all into a fit of laughter. Alli was wiping tears from her eyes as Jake had a knee-slapper going on. I covered my mouth with my hand as I laughed, resting my head on Eli's shoulder. Eli chuckled as he watched us, completely satisfied and amused with the reaction he got from us.<p>

"Clare, that reminds me of when I threw that dead frog at you!" Jake said between his fit of laughter, pointing his finger at me. Alli started laughing more and nodded as she recalled the story.

"Hey, that was not cool, man. I cried!" I laughed as I reached over the table to slap Jake.

Jake gave me a challenging look before he grabbed a pillow and threw it at me. I glared at him through my messed up hair before saying, "It's on!"

I quickly grabbed a pillow and jumped up before chasing after Jake as he ran around the house. I threw the pillow and pouted in disappointment when it hit the wall. Jake picked it up before he threw it back at me, but I ducked just in time. I stood back up and laughed, but was cut short when another pillow was thrown at me. Alli burst into a fit of giggles as she watched Jake smirk in victory. I grabbed the pillow and lifted it, getting ready to hit Jake, when he suddenly turned around and grabbed me by the waist and lifted me up, swinging me over his shoulder. I squealed and dropped the pillow while flailing my arms and legs around. He finally dropped me onto the couch and tickled me. After a few seconds of me squealing and kicking my legs he finally stopped and kissed my cheek before moving back over to sit with Alli.

I sat up and glared at Jake as he grinned, knowing just how much he annoyed me at that moment.

I went over and sat in my previous spot next to Eli, raking my fingers through my tangled hair. I looked over at Eli when I felt him shift away from me. I eyed him questionably when I noticed he was staring at his beer with an unreadable expression. He looked a little out of it, a little upset, and I wondered what had happened. Did Alli say something? Was he not feeling well?

I cast a glance over and saw that Jake and Alli were talking to each other, minding their own business. I placed my hand on Eli's knee, but quickly removed it when he jerked away. I inhaled sharply when he looked at me; his eyes were a bit dark and his jaw was clenched slightly.

"Are you okay?" I whispered to him.

Eli cleared his throat and placed his beer on the coffee table before standing up. "I'm fine. Where's your bathroom?"

I blinked before lifting my hand and pointing down the hallway. He turned on his feet and walked down the hallway with his hand running through his hair. I turned back to look at Jake and Alli who were still talking, realizing that they had missed what had just happened. I got up and snuck out of the living room before making my way to the bathroom in search for Eli. The door was slightly ajar and I peeked in, realizing that he wasn't even using the bathroom. I could hear him muttering things to himself. Through the reflection of the mirror I could see that he was biting his thumb nail; something he did when he was nervous or confused.

I pushed the door open and watched as he lifted his head to look at me through the mirror. For a moment we just stood there and stared at each other.

"What's wrong?" I finally asked.

Eli turned to look at me with a monotone expression. "You said you liked me." I pushed my eyebrows together but nodded nonetheless, wondering why he was upset. If he wanted to have this conversation he could have just asked. "Why would you say that? What about that Jake guy?"

I stared at him with full on confusion. "What about Jake?" I asked as I closed the bathroom door, not wanting Alli or Jake to eavesdrop.

"He's your boyfriend, isn't he?" Eli said in a harsh whisper. My eyes widened wider than the sun, yet he didn't seem to catch on. "Shouldn't you be all kissy kissy and lovey dovey with him and not me? You knew that I had some sort of feelings for you, so why would you lead me on like that if you have a boyfriend and why are you laughing!"

I tried to keep my laughter in but I just couldn't help it. I burst out into laughter, trying to stop because of the look Eli was giving me but it only made me laugh more. He tried to walk around me but I stopped him, placing my hands on his chest. I stopped laughing and pushed him back so he was resting against the counter.

"Eli, Jake is my childhood best friend. Not my boyfriend. In fact the thought of being romantically involved with him makes me want to throw up." I explained while my hands rested on his chest.

Eli's face twisted into complete and utter confusion. "What?"

"Alli is Jakes girlfriend, not me."

Eli slapped his hands to his face and groaned into them, obviously feeling ashamed of his outburst.

"Kill me now." He muttered into his hands. "You must think I'm some kind of jealous freak who doesn't like the girl they like to have any contact with the male gender."

I giggled lightly at how he was acting. I placed my hands on his wrists and pulled them away from his face, though he kept his head bowed.

"I have to admit you did kind of blow this out of proportion, but seeing you get jealous over me was kind of amusing. Not to mention kind of sweet," I told him with a smile, watching him finally lift his eyes to mine.

"That doesn't make the situation any less embarrassing," Eli argued.

"We can dwell in this moment or we can go back out into the living room and pretend like this didn't happen. Your choice."

Eli rolled his eyes but moved away from the counter nonetheless. He walked behind me and towards the door, choosing the second choice. I watched through the mirror as he made his way to the door, his hand landing on the handle of the door. I couldn't help but notice that as I watched him, my tongue began to dance behind my lips, longing to taste him again. Even though it had only been a day I missed the feeling of his lips, the taste of his tongue, the burning sensation I got from his touch. And in that moment something took over my body.

"Eli," I said and turned to face him, watching as he turned to face me with an expectant look. I stepped forward and cupped his neck in my hand before pulling myself up to place my lips over his. I could hear the sound of his hand being removed from the doorknob before I felt it on my back, pulling me towards him as I pushed him up against the bathroom door. Eli tilted his head to get a batter lip lock, his tongue slipping between my lips. The moan that escaped my lips when he bit my bottom lip must have triggered something in him, because he suddenly pushed me roughly against the counter. Gripping my thighs, he lifted me up and placed me on the counter, his lips becoming more aggressive as he deepened the kiss. My hands massaged his chest, urging me to rip of his shirt just so I could feel his smooth skin, but I refrained from doing so, reminding myself that Alli and Jake were in the next room.

Eli had pulled me towards him as I wrapped my legs around his waist, wishing that I didn't have company over at the moment. The feeling of having Eli so close to me once again was overwhelming and I wanted nothing more than to take things further. But I knew that we needed to have a talk before that could happen. I didn't want to keep having these random, spur of the moment make outs without actually knowing where my relationship with him stood. I knew that if I did get involved with him then it wouldn't be a walk in the park. I knew that taking a chance on him and being there for him through his dark moments was a risk, but it was a risk I was willing to take.

Because Eli was worth it.

I pulled away and inhaled, trying to stop my lungs from burning from the lack of oxygen. Eli's heavy breaths hit my lips as my fingers played with the collar of his shirt. I rested my head on his shoulder while I tried to control my breathing, feeling his fingertips dancing up and down my side. I turned my head and brushed my nose against his neck and cheek as I slowly lifted my head, wanting to look into his eyes. They were in my favourite state; clouded with want and need, shinning with affection and beaming with adoration.

"We need to talk."

As the words escaped my lips I could see the twitch in his lips just before he nodded, and I wondered if he was just as anxious as I was.

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><p><strong>Important Note: If any of you read my other stories, you would know that I haven't updated in a while, and it's because of the same reason I haven't updated this story. I've just been having a really tough time writing but I'm trying my best. Honestly right now the only story I can seem to write is this one. So I'm not completely sure when I will be updating my other stories. I truly am sorry! <strong>

**Review and tell me what you think! :)**

**Xoxo**


	9. Baby, Can You Sleep Through The Tears?

Rescue Me Chapter Nine

**Hey! I'm so glad you guys liked the last chapter. You guys are amazing and I love you. Your reviews make my day! Thank you for reading this story. :)**

**Thank you to my Beta, MunroCola.. You are freaking amazing. Glad to be working with you. :)**

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><p><em><strong>Clare's POV<strong>_

"Thanks for coming over. Bye guys!" I smiled brightly at Jake and Alli, waving them off after we shared a few hugs. Alli blew me a kiss while Jake lifted his hand and waved before they both entered their cars.

I turned back and ran up the stairs to my apartment, closing the door behind me. I was quite anxious for what was to come, and when I walked into my bedroom to see Eli sitting on the edge of the bed, my heart began to race. He looked up at me like a child would to his mother as he got ready for a deep conversation. I walked over and sat on the bed cross legged, my eyes never leaving his. He turned so he was facing me and mimicked my position, placing his hands on his knees.

"Are you okay?" I asked him softly.

Eli's eyes lifted to meet mine. He sighed and placed his hand on the bed; my eyes followed his fingers as they traced the patterns on my bed sheets. "It seems like I get asked that a lot."

I frowned and watched as his eyes followed his fingers as they flowed over my bed sheets. I kept making him feel bad, and it made me feel bad. I hated knowing that he wasn't okay, even when he said he was. I hated knowing that even though there may have been a smile on his beautiful lips, he was breaking on the inside. I hated knowing that his mind took over his heart and placed dark thoughts in his head, thoughts that made him feel worthless, that made him want to harm himself. I hated knowing that at any moment, he could snap, and end his life.

Eli inhaled and sat back, leaning on his hands as he looked at me. "So what did you want to talk about?"

I took a deep breath. "I don't want to make you angry or anything, but I feel that I should just suggest it." Eli sat back up as he eyed me curiously, and I suddenly chickened out. "You know what, never mind, it was stupid. You'd probably say no anyway, or get angry with me, or run away…"

I had begun rambling to myself and I didn't stop to notice Eli's face twist in confusion and hurt.

"Whoa, hold the phone. What is going on?" He asked, placing his hands on my legs as he leaned forward, inching closer and closer to me. I looked at him skeptically, my teeth tugging at my bottom lip. "I'm not going to get angry with you," he assured me softly.

I inhaled sharply and closed my eyes. This was it.

"I think you should go to therapy," I breathed quickly, ripping the bandage off. " I can go with you if you want; I just think you need someone other than me or Adam to talk to."

I didn't hear him say anything, nor did I feel him remove his hands. I finally opened my eyes to look at him to see he was looking at me with intense eyes. He looked as if he was trying to understand where I was coming from, like he was taking my proposal under consideration. He dropped his eyes to the bed and slowly slid his hands off of my legs, making my heart beat more quickly.

"You think I need therapy?" He asked softly as his teeth tugged at his bottom lip.

I sighed sadly and moved closer to him, placing my legs on either side of him. I grabbed his hands and held them in my lap, tugging at them until he looked into my eyes.

"Hear me out, okay? I met you on a roof. Where you were about to sign your death certificate. I'm not trying to make you feel crazy, because you're not; it's just that you're a little troubled. I want to help you, and if I could do it on my own I would, but I can't. The best I can do is be there for you, and that's what I want to do. But you need help, Eli. And if you take my offer I promise to be by your side every step of the way."

I watched carefully as Eli took in every word that I had said. He let out a gush of air and bowed his head as he rubbed his face. His hands ran through his hair as he debated on what to do. I knew that this wasn't going to be easy, but I knew that I had to get him help. I cared about him too much to just watch as he suffered. So, I leaned forward and cradled his head in my chest, resting my cheek on the top of his head as his hands moved to my waist. "I care about you, Eli. I don't want to just sit here and watch you like this. You're hurting and I can tell. You may think that putting on a fake smile will fool me but you're wrong. You don't have to make up your mind right this second but please consider it." I whispered into his hair.

I listened as he took a deep breath before he lifted his head. I retracted my hands and placed them in my lap. His hands slid to my legs as he lifted his eyes to mine. He closed his eyes and nodded softly.

"Okay," he murmured softly.

I smiled brightly and before I could even think clearly I leaned forward and brought his face to mine, connecting our lips. I quickly pulled back when I realized that I didn't have the right to jump him like that. He looked at me, a bit shocked, but I couldn't tell if it was shock from the fact that I did it or that I stopped so abruptly.

"I'm sorry – we never really… well – ugh!" I stumbled over my words, making me feel like an idiot.

"You said you'd be there by my side if I go along with this, right?" I heard Eli ask. I nodded. "Well, could you be there with me… as my girlfriend?"

My arms were suddenly around his neck as I buried my face into his chest. I felt his hands press against my back as his arms encircled me. I kissed his shoulder, his neck, his jaw, his chin and finally, his lips. He chuckled lightly against my lips and I suddenly wanted more. I sat up and cupped his face in my hands, keeping his head still as our lips moved fluidly together.

"I thought you'd never ask," I muttered against his lips as we fell back against the bed.

* * *

><p>"It's Damon Salvatore time!" Alli said cheerfully as I plopped next to her on the couch with a bowl of popcorn.<p>

I smiled as she pressed play on the recorded episode of The Vampire Diaries, saying, "Come to mama."

I covered myself with a blanket, feeling slightly chilly in my pajama shorts. I placed the bowl of popcorn between Alli and me as we began watching the show while stuffing our faces. We had decided to have a girl's night and watch our favorite episodes of The Vampire Diaries, which mostly consisted of a lot of scenes with Damon. We both agreed that he was the hottest, but because both of us are taken now he was just our fantasy guy. I mean, who didn't have a fantasy vampire boyfriend?

I had shared the good news about Eli's and my relationship with Alli, and after she had calmed down from hyperventilating and pestering me with questions, she finally came to accept it. She wasn't completely against it, but she was just a little worried; she still wasn't too sure about Eli and his behaviour. She understood that it wasn't his fault, but she was still a little iffy on the fact that I was getting involved with someone who has major mood swings and thoughts about ending their life. Although, she did come to understand that if there was a problem with him, I was perfectly capable of handling it myself. She believed in me, and trusted me enough to know that if things were going downhill and getting too crazy, that I would end it if necessary. I prayed that would never become a reality.

My eyes watched the TV screen intently, slightly hurting from how bright the screen was in the dark living room. Even though it was late and almost completely black outside, we had shut the curtains to get the full effect. Alli and I sighed dreamily as we watched Damon climb out of the bathtub and walk around with dripping water and soap suds covering his body, the camera showing his nice, firm ass.

"Now if only they moved the camera just a tad downwards…" Allli said as the screen showed Damon's front upper half. I agreed eagerly and dreamily, shoving some more popcorn in my mouth.

Alli and I both jumped and placed our hands over our hearts as we heard the shrill of my cell phone ringing. I sighed and quickly got up from the couch, picking up my cell phone from the table and looking at the caller ID. I looked at Alli with a huge grin as I bit my bottom lip, realizing just who was calling. She laughed lightly before shooing me away as she tried to watch the show. I shuffled into the kitchen as I answered the phone, placing it up to my ear.

"Hey," I smiled.

"Hi," Eli's softly breathed.

I opened the fridge and grabbed a container of baby carrots, placing it on the kitchen table. I sat down and opened the container before munching on one and trying to get comfy on the chair.

"What's up?" I asked, realizing he wasn't going to say anything.

"Nothing really. Just watching Adam play video games," He answered as I pinned my eyebrows together while grabbing another carrot.

"Why aren't you playing?" I asked as I lifted my leg up onto another chair, stretching it out.

"I was, but he kept beating me." I giggled as I could hear the pout in his voice. "How are you?"

"I'm great. Alli's spending the night; we're watching The Vampire Diaries."

Eli scoffed, "You and your vampires."

"Hey! It's not my fault they're just so damn sexy," I said while giggling. Eli laughed softly through the phone, but something was off. He sighed sadly and I frowned. "Are you okay, Eli?"

He sighed, "I don't know. I've just been feeling a little down lately. I mean, I was fine earlier today and I even had a great time while playing video games, but something happened and I just… I just feel really…"

He didn't finish. He exhaled deeply and I shifted in my seat as I slowly chewed on a baby carrot. I felt a little worried. He hasn't gone to therapy yet, but it has only been two days, and I was beginning to wonder if he was getting worse. Maybe something was actually wrong with him. Could he be depressed?

"Do you want me to come over?" I asked softly.

"No, no, you're having a girl's night with Alli, I don't want to bother you."

"You're not bothering me, Eli," I assured.

"Clare, it's okay. Just hearing your voice is already making me feel better," Eli said softly, making me smile.

I took a deep breath as I cast a glance at Alli who sat in the other room, with her eyes glued to the screen and a piece of popcorn on her lip.

"Okay. But I'm coming over tomorrow," I told him firmly.

"I don't need you to check up on me. That makes me feel like you're my mother."

"That would be gross considering I just wanted to spend a little alone time with you," I said teasingly.

Eli paused, "…Great, now I have the worst image in my head."

I giggled, "I could change that."

Eli exhaled deeply, "That would be wonderful."

I blushed at the thought of actually fooling around with him. Ever since our first kiss I have always wanted to know what it would be like to do more, and just the thought of it was making me excited.

I smiled, "Okay, well I'll let you go before Alli cheats on Jake with a fictional character."

"I'm not even going to ask," Eli laughed and I agreed.

We said our goodbyes and hung up before I placed the carrots back in the fridge and made my way back to Alli. I was soon engulfed into the show once more as I sunk into the couch, getting comfortable once again.

* * *

><p>"Honey, I'm home!" I yelled into Eli's house as I walked through the door. I had called earlier to say that I was on my way, so technically I'm not breaking and entering.<p>

Adam suddenly appeared from the kitchen and wrapped his arms around me, spinning me and then dipping me, smiling at me seductively.

"Welcome home, darling," He said with a wink. I giggled as he lifted me back up. I ruffled his hair as Eli came running down the stairs, looking excited.

"Eli!" Adam gasped dramatically as he grabbed my hand. "Clare here has made a proposal. Something about taking your hand in marriage?"

Eli grabbed my hand and swiftly pulled me towards him, saying dramatically, "Oh happy day, Papa!"

I giggled as Eli turned and dragged me up the stairs, leaving a chuckling Adam behind. We entered Eli's room and he shut the door behind us, smiling at me.

"You seem to be feeling better." I said as I placed my bag on the floor next to his bed. I crawled onto his bed and lay on my side, my head resting on the pillow he normally sleeps on. I smiled lightly when his scent filled my nostrils before I dug my head into his pillow. Eli chuckled as he plopped next to me, letting his arm fall around my waist.

"I feel better. I feel amazing." He muttered with a smile as he stared at me.

I eyed him playfully. "How much have you been drinking?"

He chuckled, "I don't think I'm going down that road again, believe me."

I smiled, remembering the last time Eli had gotten drunk. I lifted my hand and tucked his hair behind his ear, letting my fingers graze his cheek softly. He closed his eyes and smirked softly. Using his arm that was wrapped around my waist, he pulled me closer to him, moving his head so his forehead was resting on my shoulder.

"So what was with you and Adam? Where did that come from? Because I'm pretty sure I didn't propose," I teased and he chuckled while opening his eyes.

"We saw it on a movie once," he said, as he turned on his back so he was facing the ceiling.

I watched him silently for a few moments, just taking in his beautifully structured features. His lips had caught my attention the most and I couldn't help but let my eyes linger on them. I smiled and shuffled closer to him, placing my lips to his cheek. His hand slowly slid to my outer thigh and he gripped it softly as I slowly slid my leg over to intertwine with his. He turned his head until his lips found mine, my hand sliding up to cup his cheek. My lips burned with the feeling of his over them as I slowly and torturously crawled my way over him until I was straddling his waist. His tongue parted my lips before he coaxed mine to play with his, letting me know he wanted more. I mentally smirked and grabbed his hands before sliding my fingers between his own. I slowly slid our interlocked hands up until they were above his head, pushing them slightly into the pillow.

Eli broke away for air, but before I let him catch my lips with his once again I dipped down and placed my lips to his neck, tasting his sweet flesh with my tongue. His soft, sweet breaths filled my ears, making my heart race. I grazed my teeth across his skin lightly, listening to his soft moans as I bit down on his flesh. God, I just loved listening to his heavy breaths, his soft moans; they were like music to my ears. I placed an open mouth kiss on his jugular vein before adding a little suction, closing my eyes at the sound of the groan that escaped Eli's plump lips. His fingers had tightened on my own, his body arching up into me. I glided my tongue across the love bite as I felt one of his hands slid out from mine before it tangled into my hair, pulling my head up. His lustful eyes stared into mine for just a quick second before he leaned up, crushing his lips to mine.

I moaned into his mouth as our kiss became heated. Eli freed his other hand from my grip and brought it to my hip, gripping it lightly. His other hand slid to my side, running his fingertips up and down. I placed my hands on his chest and ran my hands all over it, pressing my fingertips and palm into it. I felt his hands slowly stop on my sides as his lips tugged up into a smirk against my own.

Suddenly, I broke the kiss as a squeal ripped through my throat at the feeling of Eli tickling me. I flailed around as my hands tried to remove his from me, trying to get out of his grip. I laughed uncontrollably against my will as his fingers kept swiftly moving over my sides. His chuckles filled the room as he watched me.

I finally got out of his grip but was suddenly flying towards the floor. A loud _thump_ echoed through the room as my head collided with the side of his nightstand, earning a painful groan to escape my lips when I fell to the floor. I lifted my hand to my head with my eyes squeezed shut, trying to hold back a few tears. A loud gasp escaped Eli's lips as he was suddenly by my side, frantically shaking with the wonder of what to do.

"I'm so sorry, oh my God, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" He rushed to say as his hands shook, not knowing what to do. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry! Tell me what to do! I'm sorry!"

"Shh, it's okay, Eli," I said, trying to ignore the pounding pain in my head. Eli continued to apologize as I removed my hand from my head and looked at it. "Eli, it's okay, look… I'm not bleeding."

"No! It's not okay! I just fucking threw you into a fucking nightstand!" He screamed, catching me off guard. I stared at him for a moment, watching his frantic eyes as they looked over my body with terror. His chest heaved up and down harshly as his heavy breaths filled the room. His whole body was shaking and I swallowed the lump in my throat as I sat up.

"Eli, that's not what happened. I fell. It's not your fault," I said softly as I placed my hands on his shoulders.

He looked into my eyes as his chest heaved from his heavy breathing, his hands shakily moving to the back of my head where he rubbed it softly. He whispered he was sorry once again, but I shook my head. I knew I would wake up with a bump but I didn't care; something was definitely wrong with Eli.

"I'm going insane," Eli muttered.

I rushed to say, "No, no you're not." I cupped his face in my hands to make him look at me. His terrified eyes stared into mine, and I wanted to cry at how worried he looked. His actions had not only caught me of guard, but they had scared the shit out of him, also. "I really think that you should see a therapist, Eli. Just to see if there really is something wrong."

Eli nodded and agreed. "Yeah. I need to know what's wrong with me. I just… I'm sorry."

I pressed my forehead to his, "Don't worry about it."

"You'll come with me?" He asked softly, his sad, regretful eyes looking into mine.

I nodded, "Of course. I'll be by your side as long as you need me, okay?"

He nodded and I leaned forward, kissing his lips softly. I could feel his lips tremble against mine; he was just so shaken up over the event that had occurred moments ago and that hurt me to know how scared he was. He has no idea what's going on and that's what's terrifying to the both of us. I knew that I was in for a bumpy ride, but Eli needed me and I wasn't going to leave and let him deal with this alone.

Not again.

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><p><strong>Thoughts? Review and tell me what you think. <strong>

**Xoxo **


	10. Where Have You Been?

Rescue Me Chapter Ten

**Thank you for the reviews and I'm sorry it took so long for me to update. **

**Thank you to my beta, _MunroCola_.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><em><strong>Clare's POV<strong>_

"Eli," I said as I placed my hand on his knee, watching as my hand suddenly bounced up and down with his leg. "It'll be okay. It's not like you're about to jump off of a bridge or someth-" I cut myself off, knowing by the look in his eyes that I had just said the wrong thing. "Wrong choice of words."

He sighed, "What if there really is something wrong with me? What happens then?" His eyes were filled with doubt and worry as he stared at me. He shook his head and looked back ahead of him, clasping his hands together. "I doubt you're going to want to stay with a crazy person."

I opened my mouth to disagree when the door opened and an older woman popped her head out, smiling at Eli. She told him in was his turn and he exhaled before standing up, preparing himself. I stood up and grabbed his hand, knowing he would need me next to him to do this.

Once we made it inside the lady lead us to the couch while she sat in her chair.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Hemming." She smiled and Eli gave a nod of acknowledgement; guess that's better than nothing. Dr. Hemming inhaled awkwardly, "Okay, so why don't we start. How was your day?"

"Fine," Eli replied.

"Okay," Dr. Hemming said. "Why don't you tell me why you think you're here?"

Eli let out a gush of air before resting his elbows on his knees, his hands clasped under his chin.

"Well, I used to have suicidal thoughts all the time, like constantly running through my head every day." I frowned; he didn't tell me that. "I didn't want to do anything or go anywhere; I hated socializing with people. But those things have gotten better over the past few months," Eli explained, his eyes burning a hole in the floor.

"And why do you think that is? Did something happen in your life that could have affected your actions?" Dr. Hemming asked curiously.

Eli turned his head slowly to look at me, his eyes soft and caring. "I met Clare."

Dr. Hemming eyed us for a second and smiled, "I'm guessing you're Clare?" I nodded shyly before she turned her attention back to Eli. "What else?"

He sighed and sat back in the couch, his hands placed in his lap. "Lately I've been feeling really bad. Not like the kind of bad you feel when you're sick; more like the kind of bad you feel when you don't want to do anything. I just feel upset over the stupidest things. I feel really down a lot of the time and mope around. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything."

I reached over and slid my hand underneath Eli's before interlacing our fingers, though he paid no attention.

"I have really big mood swings. The other day I had gotten so mad and freaked out that I was _shaking_. Not the kind of shaking you get in your hands when you're nervous; my whole body was shaking."

Eli's hand had tightened around mine, though I didn't think he noticed. He was finally letting out his feelings and it made me wonder why he hasn't told me any of this. I knew he was referring to the incident that happened with my head and the nightstand, but I didn't know about his suicidal thoughts or his mood swings. I knew he had thought about ending his life a few times, but never that much.

"Okay, and how long has this been going on?" Dr. Hemming asked, her eyes dark and curious.

"Umm, well, it's been on and off for a while now. Some days I'll be fine; everything will be amazing and I'll feel like a normal guy. But other days I just want to crawl under a rock and stay there because of how bad I feel." Eli answered. Why didn't he tell me any of this?

Dr. Hemming let out a breath of air; she was just as shocked as I was. Who knew Eli had this many things going on in his mind? I watched as Dr. Hemming chewed on her bottom lip as she was deep in thought, obviously reanalyzing everything Eli had told her.

"Well, I'm going to write you a prescription," she said as she wrote down on a small white sheet of paper. "Let me know if these help, okay?" She handed Eli the paper.

Eli stood up to grab the small sheet of paper, looking at it as it lay there between his fingers. He looked up at her with a confused yet terrified look on his face, and I knew he was scared to find out what he needed the pills for. I got up and stood next to him, placing my hand on his back, rubbing it comfortingly. He gulped and I watched his Adam's apple bob.

"Wh-why do I need these?" Eli asked shakily.

Dr. Hemming stood up and looked at him softly. "Well, I believe that you're depressed."

Eli scoffed, "I could have told you that."

Dr. Hemming looked at her hands before looking back up into his eyes, "You're also bipolar, Eli."

In that moment my eyes had shot to Eli's face and my heart nearly broke at the sight. Eli looked like he was going to be sick. His eyes were wider than normal, his lips parted lightly in shock. His body was frozen; he didn't even move when I grabbed his hand. I had never seen him like this before.

"If these pills don't help then come back and we'll figure something out. But I would still like to have weekly meetings just to see how you're doing," Dr. Hemming said to Eli, waiting for a response, and when she got none she sighed and looked at me.

I nodded, "Thank you."

She smiled and nodded. I placed my hand on Eli's chest before leading us out of the room. Eli finally snapped back and began to walk with me, though he wasn't fully back down to earth yet. He looked like a walking zombie, and when we finally got back to my car and got inside, Eli just sat there like a statue.

"Are you okay?" I asked after a few minutes of silence, placing my hand on his arm.

He sighed and rested his head on the back of the passenger seat. He stared out the windshield for a few moments before he opened his mouth to speak, "No… no I'm not okay."

I frowned as I watched him close his eyes and place his elbow on the bottom of the windowsill, turning his head and pinching the bridge of his nose. I sighed and turned the car on before driving down the street.

* * *

><p>After we had gotten Eli's pills, we found ourselves back at his house, the same tension in the air.<p>

"I'm going to go lie down," Eli said as he threw his leather jacket on the couch.

I watched with a frown as he began walking upstairs. I sighed and turned to grab his jacket before hanging it up properly. I began to clean up a bit, knowing it would please Adam when he got home. I picked up some dirty dishes in the living room before bringing them into the kitchen. I went to put the pills away but remembered that Eli should probably have one. I got a water bottle and one of the pills before I turned to walk out of the kitchen. Once I turned the corner I stopped in my tracks to see Eli standing there, watching me with his hands in his pockets.

I slowly walked up to him and held out the small pill and the water bottle. "You should take one."

Eli's eyes didn't even glance at the pill or the bottle as he grabbed them and turned to place them on the coffee table. As I shot him a confused look he turned and stepped closer to me, his eyes glistening with adoration.

"I forgot to say thank you," he began, "for being there with me. I don't think I would've been able to do it by myself. I'd probably still be in the parking lot right now."

I waved it off, "Don't worry about it. It wasn't that big of a deal." I shrugged.

"Well, it was a big deal to me. And the fact that you're not trying to run out the door right now means a lot." His eyes bored into mine, his hands shaking as he reached out to grab mine. "So, thank you."

I smiled and wrapped my arms around his waist. "You're welcome. And just because this minor bump in the road appeared doesn't mean that I'm just going to up and leave. I'm not the type to leave when things get tough, Eli. I'm more of the type to stay and accept."

Eli gave me a playful look, "Oh are you, now?"

I nodded and grinned at him. Eli chuckled softly before looking over at the pills on the table. He slowly broke out of my grip and walked over to grab the water bottle and pill bottle, staring at them as I watched him. He looked up at me and I gave him a reassuring smile, letting him know it was for the best. He exhaled deeply before taking a pill and popping it into his mouth, followed by a chug of water, his eyes never leaving mine.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Two weeks later<strong>_

* * *

><p>"Alli, the movie doesn't start till eight, we have an hour. Is it a crime wanting to check up on your boyfriend?" I asked into the phone while I struggled to close my car door while carrying a bag of ice cream and holding a phone up to my ear.<p>

I knew Alli so well that I could practically _see_ her roll her eyes, "Okay, but if you're late I swear to God, Clare, I will-"

"I'll be there!" I cut her off. "Now I have to go, goodbye."

I hung up the phone after she bid her goodbye and placed my phone in my pocket. I placed my hand on the doorknob and twisted it, shoving the door open. I stepped inside and smiled at Adam when he looked up at me from the couch. He shot up and grabbed the bag form me, bringing it into the kitchen.

"Aww, for me? You shouldn't have," Adam teased as he placed the tub of ice cream in the freezer.

"I didn't," teased back, earning a glare from Adam. I stuck my tongue out at him and he chuckled. "So, where's Eli?"

After those words had slipped from my lips something in Adam's demeanor changed. He cleared his throat and stepped towards me cautiously. The way he was acting scared me. Did something happen?

"I think it would be best if you just came back later." Adam said softly. My face twisted into confusion. "I'll tell him you stopped by."

"No. Why can't I see him? Where is he?" I asked frantically, getting angrier by the second. I was worried that he was hiding something from me.

"He's upstairs, but-"

I turned on my heels and headed for the stairs, cutting Adam off.

"Clare! Don't bother him! He needs to be alone!" Adam declared as he followed me up the stairs.

I shook my head and ran up the rest of the way, rushing to get to Eli's room. Just as I reached the door Adam stepped in front of me, blocking my way.

"Move, Adam." I said darkly.

"Listen to me; he's not in a good state right now. It would be better if he didn't see you." Adam said but I tried pushing him out of the way. He didn't budge. "Clare, Eli told me that he didn't want to see you. He told me to keep you away from him for the time being."

My arms suddenly stopped trying to move him and I looked at Adam with disbelief. My throat grew dry and I swallowed the lump in my throat. My mind was racing with questions and I closed my eyes, not wanting any of them to be answered with the words _yes_.

"Is he cheating on me?" I asked softly, trying to listen for any noises from behind the door. But there was none. Not even any talking or any music.

Adam let out a chuckle, "I don't think he's capable of that, Clare. You're safe in that department."

"Then what is it?" I asked softly, looking up and into Adam's eyes.

He sighed. "He's hit rock bottom again. He's been pretty depressed, lately."

"But I just saw him the other day," I told him, remembering the previous therapy session I had attended with Eli a few days ago. Eli had told Dr. Hemming that the pills worked and that he was feeling better, but personally I didn't see much of a change. It still seems like he's hurting.

"That's how his condition works, Clare. He's fine one day and the next he's… well, not," Adam explained sadly. Without Adam I don't know where Eli would be right now. Adam was the one who made sure Eli always took his pills, he made sure Eli was feeling okay before he left for work, and if not he would stay home and take care of him. Sometimes I wonder if Eli would even be alive if it weren't for Adam.

I sighed, "I just need to see him. Just to make sure he's okay. Please?" I pleaded.

It took him a few minutes, but soon enough Adam slowly slid to the side, giving me access to the door. I thanked him before I slowly opened the door to Eli's room. For a moment I wondered if Eli had heard the commotion that happened outside of his bedroom door, but that question soon faded when I entered his room.

Eli lay on his bed on his back, his eyes locked on the ceiling. The window was open, yet he was wrapped in a blanket. There was no pillow under his head; it had fallen haphazardly onto the floor. There were wrappers and pop cans scattered over his nightstand.

Slowly, I walked over to the bed, trying to get a good look at him. The sight before me nearly broke my heart. He had dark circles under his eyes, the lines around his mouth were more visible, and the frown that was placed over his lips looked like someone had drawn it on with a sharpie. He looked so tired and restless. His eyes never left the ceiling though I'm sure he had heard me enter the room. I sat down beside him slowly and watched to see if he would look at me.

He didn't.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly, wanting to see if I could get _something_ out of him. Some type of emotion.

Eli's face twisted evilly as he scoffed, "Why is that the first thing everyone seems to ask me? Am I okay? Do I fucking look okay?"

He still didn't look at me, and that hurt more than his comment. I looked back at Adam who gave me a sympathetic look. I knew that Eli wasn't being this way on purpose; it wasn't his fault.

I turned back to Eli and slowly slid my hand to his. I flinched and snatched my hand back when Eli shot me a look before jumping up from the bed and walked to the window. He sat on the ledge and brought his feet up, wrapping himself up with the blanket. I closed my eyes and inhaled, trying to calm myself.

When I opened my eyes they caught something. I narrowed my eyes as I looked at the small baggy with a bunch of little pills in it. It was hard to see with all of the garbage that covered it, but it didn't take a genius to realize what they were. My blood began to boil when realization struck. I glared at Eli as I felt my hands clench around his bed sheets.

"Have you been taking your medication?" I asked through clenched teeth, trying to sound normal.

"Ask Adam," Eli said, sounding unconcerned with my question.

I turn to look at Adam.

"Yeah, he takes them two times a day, just like the bottle says," Adam explained.

I gave Adam a look before I nudged my head towards the bag of pills. Adam followed m gaze and suddenly he seemed like he could murder someone. His eyes were wide in disbelief and his fists clenched. He tried to breath, trying to calm himself but I could see his anger was boiling over.

"You lying fuck!" Adam said angrily before marching over to him and grabbing the pills before shoving them in Eli's face. I flinched from Adam's outburst. "You haven't been taking them, have you? You just made me think you had. That's why you didn't seem to be getting better! You actually seemed like you were getting worse! Why the fuck would you do that, man?"

Eli slowly turned his head to look at the pills, and my breath caught in my throat when a sly smirk appeared on his lips. His eyes flickered up to Adam's and he clicked his tongue.

"Oops," Was the only word that left Eli's lips, followed by a dark chuckle. He got up from the windowsill and crawled back into bed, smirking at me as he did so. I looked away. I was actually too pissed off and hurt to even look him in the eye. I can't believe he pulled this stunt. After everything that we had been through, he does this?

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to be left alone," Eli said as he gave Adam a glare. Adam scoffed before marching out of the room, slamming the door behind him, causing me to jump in alarm.

I closed my eyes and let a tear fall, but quickly wiped it away. I opened my eyes and looked at Eli, realizing he was staring at some design on his blanket. I didn't know what had become of him. This wasn't the real Eli. I didn't know who it was. But no matter how mad or hurt I was, I knew that this wasn't Eli's doing. It wasn't his fault. He's ill, and I knew coming into this relationship that things would be hard, and I accepted that. But I just never thought that it would be this hard.

Planning on leaving him alone, I leaned over to give him a goodbye kiss. I placed my lips to the corner of his mouth, feeling a tear slid down my cheek and onto his. I pulled away, but as I went to stand up, his hand shot out and gripped onto mine. I looked down at him, my lips parting at how broken he looked. He looked up at me with tears in his eyes, his breathing shallow.

"Please don't leave me alone with my thoughts," he pleaded, breaking my heart.

I let out a choked sob, realizing just how much he was suffering. I lay down beside him and held him to me when he pulled me to him, burying his face into my shoulder. His mood swings were out of control, and I knew he wanted to be fixed. I could tell just how scared he was about this. His body was shaking as he held me close to him, whispering things and begging me to help him, and it pained me that I couldn't do more than just lay here with him.

For the rest of the night I cried with him and soothed him, ignoring the slight pain from his tight grip around me. I eventually called Alli and told her I wouldn't be able to make the movie, and when she heard the shake in my voice she told me to just stay with Eli and that we can always make plans another time.

Eventually Eli fell asleep, his head buried into my neck, his arms tightly wound around me, his tears on my shirt. My tears had dried to my cheeks, and not wanting to remove my arms from Eli, I let them be. For hours I laid there and stared at the corner of his room, wondering just how much worse this was going to get. I didn't want to fall asleep in fear of having Eli wake up in the wrong mood, but I didn't want to leave in fear of him not taking his pills and suffering even more.

I took a deep breath and lightly shook him awake, watching his eyes as they blinked repeatedly. He looked at me with half lidded eyes and waited for me to say something. I reached over him and grabbed a pill and the glass of water that was probably from earlier today before handing them to him.

"Please… please take your pills," I pleaded. My voice was hoarse from all of the crying.

Eli's soft eyes looked into mine for a few minutes, and I waited patiently, before he took the pill and water from me. He gulped them both down and set the glass aside. He lay back in his previous position and I could feel my lip quiver as he stared at me. I let my face fall so my forehead was resting against his, letting the tears fall freely down my cheeks and onto him. I felt his hand wipe away my tears before I heard his tired, angelic voice.

"I promise I'll keep taking them. No monkey business anymore. I'll take them if it means I won't cause you this much pain ever again," He said softly into my ear.

I nodded and moved to lie beside him again. He turned to face me and pulled the covers over our heads, wrapping his arm around my neck; I felt myself calm slightly from the feeling of his fingers running through my hair. He looked at me in the dark lightly the blanket let through.

"Stay the night?" He asked, his eyes gazing into mine. I could only nod.

He leaned closer to me and pressed his chapped lips to my tear stained ones, and I gripped his arm as I kissed him back. I tried to show him that I wasn't going anywhere and that I would always be there for him if he needed me. I wanted him to know how much I cared for him. My arm wound around him and my palm pressed against his back, pulling me to him. I ran my nails down his back, feeling him arch into me lightly. I tangled my limbs with his and held him close.

It didn't matter that the kiss was slow; it still took my breath away.

When we finally parted he buried his face in my neck again, my head falling to rest on the top of his. I parted my lips and told him something I never would have expected myself to say, and the feeling of his arms tightening around my waist made me realize that it was completely and utterly true.

"You're a train wreck, Eli. But I wouldn't have fallen in love with you any other way."

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><p><strong>Tell me the truth. Did that suck as bad as I thought it did?<strong>

**Anyways, review and tell me your thoughts. **

**Check out the new story on my profile! It's called _Only Place I Call Home_. :)**

**Xoxo**


	11. Place A Kiss On My Cheek Bone

Rescue Me Chapter Eleven

**A/N: To apologize for the _long ass_ wait, this is a fluffy and sexy Eclare chapter. Though, I do have an excuse: life. School is taking over my time, plus my job, and my life. I barely have time to breathe these days. But be patient; I haven't given up on this story and I don't plan on doing so any time soon. I want to finish this, and I plan on doing so. But my updates will probably be about two weeks apart. Please be patient and bear with me, okay? Thank you.**

**Sorry for any spelling mistakes or grammar errors. I tried my best.**

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><p><em><strong>Clare's POV<strong>_

Blinking tiredly, I slowly opened my eyes. They swept across the dimly lit room, and I realized I wasn't in my own bed. The black sheet that hung upon the window was illuminated by the sunlight from outside, the room stick slick with darkness, and I was glad that for just a few more moments, I could pretend that I didn't have to get up soon. Memories of last night flooded into my mind and I closed my eyes before bringing the blanket up, holding it to my chest; I didn't want to be awake. I'm tired, exhausted and I don't want to move.

I curled up into myself more, feeling drained. The night before had been too much for me – it scared me that Eli wasn't getting better. I knew that it wasn't going to just magically happen and that he would just suddenly get better, but I don't think I realized how much I would have to put up with to keep Eli in my life. I don't want to give up on him – that's not what I'm saying, but if he's going to get better he's going to need all the help he can get.

And remembering last night I knew that right now I was the only one Eli would have with him on this emotional roller-coaster until he talked to Adam. After last night, I'm not sure if Adam will ever speak to Eli again.

I squeezed my eyes shut and exhaled deeply, trying to shake the images from my mind. Last night I saw a side of Eli I didn't even know existed. The images of the darkness that had taken over Eli was burned into my mind – the way his eyes held nothing but emptiness, the way he didn't care about the fact that he hadn't been taking his pills. The way he talked to Adam and me – it was just surreal.

Opening my eyes, I slowly turned over, making sure the warm blanket stayed wrapped around me. My eyes found a sleeping Eli, and for a moment I just stared at him, taking in his appearance. He looked so different from last night – he looked so innocent. His eyes fluttered just slightly, his lips parted as he breathed softly, and I reached up to run my fingers through his tangled hair. Eli shifted slightly and licked his lips, but his eyes stayed closed. I pulled my hand back and placed it under my cheek, watching him, drinking him in.

I didn't know what it was but for some reason I didn't want this moment to end. There was just something about the atmosphere that made me want this to last forever. The way everything seemed to be okay for the time being, the way it seemed as if Eli didn't have a mental illness, the way it seemed as if our relationship wasn't at stake – it all made my stomach churn with the thought of how badly I wanted to stay in this bed with Eli forever. Just to lay here and gaze at him while he was sleeping, while he was at his most innocent point with the blankets tangling our bodies together – it made me feel safe.

"Quit staring at me," Eli muttered, wrenching me from my thoughts. His eyes were still closed and he wrinkled his nose, rubbing it against the pillow before becoming still once again. I wondered how long he had been awake.

"I'm not staring; I'm admiring," I confessed.

"I know I'm irresistible and all but it's kind of creepy," Eli's lips curled up into a tired smirk. His voice was gravely and strained; I placed my index finger on the corner of his bottom lip, sliding it slowly from one side to the other.

I ignored his comment and smiled, "It's romantic."

Eli's eyes suddenly opened to look at me, holding emotions I couldn't even name. "Come here," he told me softly before untangling himself from his blanket and opening his arm for me. I slid over to him and wrapped my arm around his waist as his wrapped around me. I placed a small kiss on his lips, feeling him smile, before I dug my head into his neck. My palm pressed to his back and pulled him to me, crushing his body to mine. I held him close and sighed contently. We were a tangle of blankets and limbs, but it was the most comfortable feeling I had ever experienced.

"You're so warm," I practically moaned into him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

For a moment I didn't know what he meant. My body relaxed when it finally sunk in – he was talking about last night. I removed my head from his neck and rested it in front of his, our noses brushing just slightly. Bringing my fingers up to brush his jaw bone, I nodded, "I know."

For about a half an hour we just laid there, taking each other in. A few words exchanged, lifting smiles onto our lips and bubbling laughs from our throats. When Eli made a rude remark about some guy he knew, I flicked him on the forehead.

"What was that for?" Eli gaped at me.

"That was rude,"

"You don't even know the guy, why are you defending him? He's an ass and totally deserves whatever word I decide to call him."

I roll my eyes and giggle at Eli's confident expression before pushing him away and turning so my back was facing him. A few minutes passed before I felt the bed shift slightly as Eli scooted closer to me. His hand pressed to my back before I felt him glide his fingertips down my spine slowly. My eyes fluttered when I felt his soft lips being placed to my neck. He moved my clothing to the side and kissed down my neck before finally reaching my shoulder blade.

"You're going to have to talk to Adam eventually," I spoke softly, remembering Adam's outburst.

Eli's lips didn't even still for a second, nor did his hands. I finally closed my eyes as the pleasurable feeling consumed me fully, my body and mind surrendering to his touch. His lips traveled back up to my neck, finding their way to my weak spot behind my ear. His hand wound around my body, pressing to my lower abdomen.

"He's working," Eli muttered against my flesh. He pulled his lips away briefly, "But I'll talk to him when he gets home."

I nodded and brought my hand to the back of his head, running my fingers through his hair. I turned my head and my lips searched for him, and I smiled when they were reunited with his. Moving so I was facing him, I hitched my leg over his hip. His hand found its way to my lower back, slipping behind my shirt where his fingertips teased my skin. I moaned into the kiss as my hands slipped under the back of his shirt, raking my fingernails down his back, causing him to arch into me. He moaned softly and suddenly his hands were rushing to un-wrap the blanket from around my body, pushing it to the side before pressing more of his body to mine.

While pressing my lips more firmly to his I spread my legs, giving him more room to rest comfortably. I can feel his hands exploring my body before he finally slips them under my shirt, his warm fingertips caressing my skin. My hands fight against his clothes, searching for an entry to his warm flesh. But I can't get to it fast enough – the blankets are in my way, and so, without thinking, I grab his butt with one hand and pull him toward me. He cracks a grin against my lips and chuckles softly, and I flush with embarrassment.

As I try to pull away, Eli places his finger on my cheek to bring me back, his lips seeming more urgent than ever. Suddenly I'm drowning in his touch, my body becoming warm as my hands pull him to me. My legs tighten around him as my hands rush to bring up his shirt, wanting it off of his body. He retracts slightly until I am able to remove his shirt completely. Once it's removed from his body he shudders, my fingers grazing his warm, goose bump ridden skin; his room is chilly and he must be cold, but by the look in his eye, I can tell that he won't let it stop us.

As he leans down to kiss me, I surprise him by pushing him to lie on his back as I roll with him, straddling his waist. Before he can get a word in I kiss him, eating his unknown words. My hand is placed on the pillow, resting next to his head, and I let my thumb graze the top of it. I moan softly when he shifts his position, feeling his excitement on my inner thigh. Taking a mental deep breath, I decide it's time to be bold and push my hips into his, my hand shooting out to press against the wall, my fingernails scraping against it as I do so.

Eli's hand seizes my hips as our lips separate, a moan slipping from his lips.

"I need more of you than I can take," he gasps, his eyes closed.

I chew on my bottom lip for a moment. Then, leaning down, I place a kiss to his jaw bone, his neck, and his bare shoulder. Brushing my lips against his ear, I whisper, "Seduce my mind and you can have my body – find my soul and I'm yours forever."

"Why do you make me feel like this?" Eli moans, his hands clawing at my legs.

I roll my hips to his once again, smiling as he instinctively pushes his hips up. "Feel like what?"

His head digs into the pillow and he snaps his eyes open to look at me, his gaze intense and loving.

"Like I'm high," he breathes.

I smile and shake my head, leaning down to brush my lips against his. He leans forward to kiss me, but I pull back far enough so that he can't reach.

"You're my drug, Eli."

He looks at me with shinning eyes as his head falls back into the pillow. I blush softly when I notice the adoration in his eyes, and I lean down to kiss him finally. This time, he removes his hand from my hip and cups my face, slowly and surely moving his lips with mine. He's being so gentle and for a moment I wonder if we will last. But after that thought passes, all I focus on is him.

Pulling back, I bit my bottom lip.

"Speaking of drugs…" I trail off, my eyes finding the bag of pills on his nightstand.

Eli turns his head to follow my gaze and sighs. I climb off of him when he moves to sit up and watch when he swallows the small pill.

"I meant it when I said I'll start taking them again," Eli says softly. I shift my position behind him and place my hands in my lap.

"I know," I say softly.

"I want to change my life around, Clare, and I think a new job would help get me on the right track," Eli says while turning to face me.

I raise my eyebrows, "No offense Eli but I don't think you can handle a job right now. That might put too much stress on you."

"I'm not talking about right away, I just mean, I just – when I am stable enough to handle a job, I'll get one. And piece by piece I'll be able to pick myself up again."

I scratch the place above my eye, right under my eyebrow before looking at him again. I sigh and close my eyes.

"Well, I'll be by your side no matter what,"

Before I even have the chance to open my eyes I'm pushed back on the bed as Eli showers my face with kisses.

"We met for a reason, you know?" Eli asks once he finished kissing my face.

I blow a few strays of hair out of my face and look up at him, "Oh really?"

He nodded and brushed his pointer finger against my cheek, "You're either a blessing or a lesson."

I wrap my arms around him and hold him tightly.

"Maybe I'm both."

He smiles.


End file.
